Matchup Comparison Rating: the special edition

Ok, we've got ya covered all the way to New Year's Day, from that point on it's all about vegetating on the couch and taking in as much football as possible (and recovering from your New Year's Eve hangover). Frankly after working on these for a week straight my eyes are ready to roll back in my head and I'm making atrocious grammar and spelling mistakes (more so than usual). But before I end this I would be remiss if I didn't cover the home team, after all this is a Penn State blog.

CAPITAL ONE BOWL
Penn State (10-2) vs. LSU (9-3)
Jan 1, 1:00 PM - ABC

A word from our sponsor: Hey it's the Capital One Bowl which means we get to see the winner of the Capital One Mascot Challenge. You remember the Mascot Challenge don't you? The contest where fans can vote on the best mascot, then they randomly pick a winner? The same contest that the Nittany Lion won in a landslide in its inaugural season only to be left out in the cold? Yeah, it's awesome. Oddly, the Lion hasn't been invited back to play along.

On the field: LSU lost three games in the fourth quarter, two of those to Florida and Alabama. On paper this should be a win for Penn State. LSU ranks 108^th in total yards and Penn State is 10^th against the run, 8^th in total defense and surrender only 11.83 points per game, good enough for 4^th. LSU though is no slouch on defense, they are 12^th in scoring D and they've played a tougher schedule then PSU. But this game has all the same issues we've seen all season. Penn State racked up a lot of good numbers against all their unranked foes but laid eggs in the two games with decent opponents. All the same questions we've been asking all season are being asked here as well. Can the offensive line block a decent defensive line? Can Daryl Clark avoid all the costly turnovers that plagued him against Iowa and Ohio State? Just like a lot of the other games we've previewed this game also has the same mismatch on special teams that we've seen all season. LSU has the best punt return average in the nation thanks to Trindon Holliday who averages 17.72 yards per return. Holliday returned one for a touchdown against Arkansas a game that LSU won in overtime. Once again special teams could be the difference.

For Penn State it will be all about Daryl Clark yet again. As he goes so does the Penn State offense. Clark seems to be a little frustrated that fans are questioning his legacy (HT: BSD). So he's out to prove himself yet again. Make no mistake, if he plays well* Penn State should win. For LSU they will have to rely on QB Jordan Jefferson because they are banged up at running back. Jefferson has thrown 9 TD's and only 3 picks in the last five games. Jefferson has very similar numbers to Clark's. Penn State will have to deal with wide receivers Brandon LaFell and Terrance Toliver who have 52 and 47 catches respectively. After that it's quite a drop-off.

+1 unabashedPenn State Loyalty
+1 two evenly matched teams
+1 chance to see PSU seniors one last time
+1 2^nd best punt returner in the nation
+1 Clark and his legacy issues play out
-1 early start time – can our livers handle New Year's Eve and then a 1 o'clock start?

MCR 4 (Viper/Shelby Cobra)

*and by well I mean doesn't turn the ball over and completes the easy passes

Matchup Comparison Rating: the New Year’s Eve edition

We're getting ever so close to the real meat and potatoes of the schedule, the day that teams play for (or at least they used to): New Year's Day. But first there's the day before and before you venture off to consume large quantities of alcohol just so you have an excuse to kiss that semi-attractive and slightly overweight chick at the end of the bar at midnight, there's some games to get through. As always we start with the system.

BELL HELICOPTER ARMED FORCES BOWL
Houston (10-3) vs. Air Force (7-5)
Dec. 31, 12:00 PM - ESPN

A word from our sponsor: The Bell Helicopter Armed Forces bowl is in its seventh year and is currently under contract with Conference USA and the Mountain West conference through 2013. Of course how can you not like a bowl whose main sponsor is a Helicopter manufacturer, the Army, and the Marines? Of course it wouldn't be a sporting event if it wasn't also sponsored by a Budweiser product.

On the field: This will be a rematch of last year's Armed Forces game which Houston won 34-28, and it could be even more exciting and high scoring. In this game you have the best passing offense in Houston against the best passing defense in Air Force. You also have the 3^rd best rushing attack in Air Force against the 112^th ranked rushing defense. Cougar QB and Davey O'Brian Award finalist Case Keenum has the kind of numbers you only see in video games. This season Keenum threw for 5449 yards, 43 touchdowns and only 9 interceptions. He's completing 71% of his passes. Three wide receivers have at least 985 yards led by Iowa transfer James Cleveland. For Air Force watch for Jared Tew and Asher Clark who have 797 and 736 rushing yards on the season. This could be a battle of wills, can Air Force control the ball and the clock with their rushing attack or will Houston get a lead and force Air Force to throw more?

+1 Military academy – if you don't watch the terrorists win
+1 Award finalist QB with crazy stats
+1 great passing offense vs. great passing defense
+1 great passing offense vs. great rushing offense
MCR 4 (Viper/Shelby Cobra)

BRUT SUN BOWL
Oklahoma (7-5) vs. Stanford (8-4)
Dec. 31, 2:00 PM - CBS

A word from our sponsor: I'll bet you didn't know this little piece of info: The Sun Bowl was first played on January 1, 1935, as a fund-raising event for a local service club, to benefit underprivileged children and to finance improvements to the El Paso High School Stadium. It has grown into El Paso's number one national attraction and is second only to the Rose Bowl in longevity. So they're the second longest running bowl that had such noble beginnings… and now they're sponsored by deodorant. Something stinks alright: it's called corporate greed.

On the field: Oklahoma coach Bob Stoops has lost five of his past six bowl games. TNL favorite Jim Harbaugh is coaching in his first. This will be a matchup of Heisman finalist Toby Gerhart the nation's top rusher against the 7^th best rush defense. Oklahoma also ranks 7^th in total defense as well. After QB Sam Bradford went down the Sooners relied on freshman quarterback Landry Jones. Jones has completed 58% of his passes for 2780 yards and 23 TD's but has been inconsistent at times. He threw four or more TD passes in three games this year but also had a five interception game in a loss to Nebraska.

+1 Heisman finalist
+1 chance to put a mic in front of Jim Harbaugh
+1 great running back vs. great rush D
MCR 3(Jessica Simpson Sex Tape)

TEXAS BOWL
Navy (8-4) vs. Missouri (8-4)
Dec. 31, 3:30 PM - CBS

A word from our sponsor: At least this makes sense; the main corporate sponsor for the Texas Bowl is Houston. As in the city of. Finally a bowl partner that makes sense. Oh, don't get me wrong there are lots and lots of other sponsors but at least there isn't any real shame in using this main sponsor.

Quick side note, in there information page under Quick Facts they list the results of past Texas Bowls, and they have this year's listed:
2009 Texas Bowl

* Date: Thursday, December 31, 2009, 2:30pm CST
* Television: ESPN
* Conferences: TBA

Except they haven't updated the page yet to reflect this year's teams. Come on, who the hell is asleep at the switch? That should have been updated the night the game was announced. But I digress…

On the field: Another matchup of contrasting styles, Navy has the 4^th best rushing offense in the country and Missouri has the 14^th best passing attack. The Tigers have scored at least 32 points in each of its past 5 games and are led by wide receiver Danario Alexander, the nation's leader in receiving yards with 1644. Navy has two players with at least 925 yards led by running QB Ricky Dobbs who has only thrown for 901. Dobbs set an NCAA record for rushing TD's in a season with 24. It won't be easy for the Midshipman though as Missouri boasts the 12^th best rushing defense in the country.

+1 Military academy – if you don't watch the terrorists win
+1 record-setting QB
+1 best WR in the nation
-1 blowout possibility
MCR 2(Microwave dinner)

INSIGHT BOWL
Minnesota (6-6) vs. Iowa St (6-6)
Dec. 31, 6:00 PM - NFL NETWORK

A word from our sponsor: Ok, this is just fucking sweet, on the sponsor page of the Insight Bowl website there's a blurb about the company Insight: Insight is a technology solutions provider serving global and local clients in 170 countries. Today, thousands of clients, including more than 80 percent of the Global Fortune 500, rely on Insight to acquire, implement and manage technology solutions to empower their business. Stick with me here, they're a "technology solutions provider" which means they should know their shit when it comes to something as trivial as say… an internet hyperlink, yet when I click on their link I get the following page.

That my friends, is delicious.

On the field: Iowa State's offense is built around the run game and is led by Alexander Robinson who rushed for 1,058 yards this season (4^th best in the Big 12). Minnesota's bread and butter is the passing game and all-Big Ten wide receiver Eric Decker. Unfortunately Decker went down with a season ending foot injury. Without him, the Gophers went 2-2 losing to lowly Illinois and Iowa, a game the failed to score a single point. Minnesota will have to rely on QB Adam Weber who has had mixed results since Decker's injury. Against Michigan State Weber threw for 416 yards in a 42-34 win, but against South Dakota State he only managed 94 yards (also a win).

+1 even match-up
-1 two pathetic offenses
MCR 0 (Rosie O'Donnell Talk Show)

CHICK-FIL-A BOWL
Va Tech (9-3) vs. Tennessee (7-5)
Dec. 31, 7:30 PM - ESPN

A word from our sponsor: Chick-fil-A boasts that tasty and nutritious are one in the same, that's why they use only the most wholesome ingredients, prepared fresh daily. Yes, they use only the freshest, most wholesome ingredients… then coat the bastards and dunk them in artery clogging partially hydrogenated cooking oil. I'm feeling more healthy just reading about it.

On the field: Tennessee has the advantage at quarterback with Jonathon Crompton who improved down the stretch and has tossed 26 touchdowns and 12 picks. Virginia Tech has the advantage at running back with super freshman Ryan Williams who rushed for 1538 yards, eighth-most by a freshman in NCAA history. Both offenses are pretty evenly matched, both score about 30 points a game and both gain about 390 yards per game, they just get there differently: Tennessee favors the pass while Virginia Tech favors the run. The difference may come down to defense and the Vols have Jim Thorpe Award winning safety Eric Berry who does a little of everything.

+1 two evenly matched teams
+1 award winning safety
+1 chance for Lane Kiffin to put his foot in his mouth on a national stage
MCR 3(Jessica Simpson Sex Tape)

Matchup Comparison Rating: the segue edition

Segue, not Segway!

Moving on to the games that cover the work week between Christmas and New Year's, these are the "Segue games." If you're one of the poor souls that have to work the couple days before New Year's eve, these games get you through until the big ones on New Year's day.

ADVOCARE V100 INDEPENDENCE BOWL
Texas A&M (6-6) vs. Georgia (7-5)
Dec. 28, 5:00 PM – ESPN2

A word from our sponsor: Advocare is the manufacture of supplements targeting a wide range of activities from weight management to performance enhancements (the legal kind). Unfortunately the Advocare V100 Independence Bowl website looks like it was done by a high school kid for his senior project.

Seriously, if their goal was to throw as much random shit on one web page, mission accomplished.

On the field: If you're a fan of offense, you're gonna want to tune in to this game. Georgia's defensive was so bad coach Mark Richt fired three of his defensive assistants including the defensive coordinator. All three coaches declined to coach in the bowl game leaving erstwhile defensive line coach Rodney Garner to prepare for Texas A&M by his lonesome. It will be a tough task considering the Aggies have the 5^th best and the 14^th highest scoring offense in the FBS. Georgia's offense isn't as potent but will be helped out by the fact that Texas A&M's defense suuuuuuccccckkkkkkksssss! They come in 107^th in total defense giving up 431.33 yards per freakin' game. They also give up 32.67 points per game, 104^th in the FBS.

On the offensive side of things, Texas A&M has one of the most underrated QB's in the country in Jerrod Johnson who has completed 60% of his passes for 3217 yards, 28 TD's and only 6 INT's. He's also rushed for 455 yards and 8 scores. Georgia found it's ground game late in the season rushing for 252.0 yards on the ground in its last four games thanks to freshman Washaun Ealey and sophomore Caleb King who each averaged 9.2 yards per carry in an road upset of then #7 Georgia Tech for their regular season finale. The scoreboard operator will be busy.

+1 strong offense
+1 kick-ass QB
+1 shootout possibility
-1 total lack of defense

MCR 2 (Microwave Dinner)

EAGLEBANK BOWL
UCLA (6-6) vs. Temple (9-3)
Dec. 29, 4:30 PM - ESPN

A word from our sponsor:
The EagleBank Bowl's focus is to recognize and pay respect to the dedication and sacrifices made by all those who serve our country, at both the U.S. military academies and in the U.S. Armed Forces. The EagleBank Bowl brings together three of the largest forces in our economy – the government, the military and private enterprise – in one venue. This unique event is an opportunity to show your appreciation for those who protect our freedom. So it's all patriotic to watch.

On the field: Hey, we get a chance to see Penn State's best out of conference opponent in Temple. It's been an amazing turnaround for Temple, just a few short years ago the Owls were 1-11 in coach Al Golden's inaugural season. This is only the fourth winning season for the Owls in the past 30 years. This team had a nine game winning streak until losing to Ohio which kept them out of the conference championship game. Golden has a school record 8 players named to the all-Mac first team led by MAC freshman of the year Bernard Pierce who rushed for a conference leading 1,308 yards and was second with 15 touchdowns. The Owls control the ground, they have the 23^rd best rushing attack averaging 192.3 yards per game while giving up only 108.8 on defense, good for 19^th best.

UCLA wouldn't even be here if Army had beat Navy, the Black Knights would be playing in this game against Temple. The Bruins have been inconsistent opening up with three straight wins and then losing their next five. They then had another three game winning streak snapped by USC in their last contest. Despite the shoddy record UCLA does boast four All-Americans led by second teamer Rahim Moore who leads the nation with 9 interceptions and Lou Groza Award winner (best kicker) Kai Forbath. The problem is on offense where inconsistent play from freshman quarterback Kevin Prince has led to the Bruins getting held under 20 points six times. Both QB's in this game won't scare anyone.

+1 former PSU player and assistant coach
+1 consummate underdog vs. evil west coast team (they're coached by Rick Neuheisel for cryin' out loud)
-1 two pathetic quarterbacks

MCR 1(Woman's Heart)

CHAMPS SPORTS BOWL
Miami (9-3) vs. Wisconsin (9-3)
Dec. 29, 8:00 PM - ESPN

A word from our sponsor: The Champs Sports Bowl (also known as the Florida Citrus bowl) is sponsored by a wide array of corporations from the title sponsor Champs Sports to Capital One to Budweiser, to Coca Cola and Dasani. So drink a lot and user your credit card to buy some overpriced sports equipment.

On the field: Call this a matchup of contradicting styles. While both teams average more than 30 points per game and both defenses only allow 321 yards or less per game, Wisconsin does it with their usual plodding ground attack and Miami does it through the air. The Badgers are 14^th in the nation in rushing at 206.7 yards per game and are led by Big Ten offensive player of the year John Clay who ran for 1,369 yards and 16 TDs on the season. Miami is led by quarterback Jacory Harris who ranked 15th in the Football Bowl Subdivision with 3,164 passing yards and 23 TD's. His Achilles heel though would be the 17 interceptions he's thrown to go along with all those touchdowns. The Badgers are used to controlling the ground game on defense but are not known for their secondary. Both defenses should be tested in this game and turnovers will play a big roll, Wisconsin is 30^th in the country at forcing turnovers, Mimi is 70^th.

+1 two statistically evenly matched teams
+1 two decent defenses
+1 two strong offense
+1 pass-happy offense vs. plodding road grader offense

MCR 4 (Viper/Shelby Cobra)

ROADY'S HUMANITARIAN BOWL
BGU (7-5) vs. Idaho (7-5)
Dec.30, 4:30 PM - ESPN

A word from our sponsor: What could be more boring than a bowl in Boise, Idaho? A bowl game in Boise Idaho sponsored by equally boring corporations like Roady's truck stops, the Idaho lottery, and the Boise convention and visitors bureau.

On the field: The two teams come into this game going in different directions: Bowling Green won their last four games while Idaho lost their last three. This will be a matchup of two high powered offenses, Idaho boasts the 10^th best offense in yardage and BGSU has the nation's 8^th best passing attack (Idaho is 12^th). Idaho QB Nathan Enderle is the seventh best rated passer in the FBS completing over 64% of his passes for 2666 yards and tossing 18 TD's and only 9 INT's. BG QB Tyler Sheehan is no slouch either throwing for a career-high 3,664 yards with 23 touchdowns and only 6 interceptions. Bowling Green's star though is wide receiver Freddie Barnes who led the nation in receptions (138) and touchdowns (16) and is third in receiving yards (1,551). Barnes would have won Biletnikoff Award easily had there not been someone from a team named Notre Dame on the ballot. If Barnes makes 5 catches he will set an NCAA record for catches during a season. It will be a home game for Idaho something the Falcons will have to overcome. It should be a shootout as neither team has a decent defense, Idaho ranks below 100 in seven different defensive categories. Bowling Green is a little better but not by much.

+1 two evenly matched teams
+1 best wide receiver in the nation
+1 two high powered offenses
-1 two pathetic defenses

MCR 2(Microwave Dinner)

PACIFIC LIFE HOLIDAY BOWL
Arizona (8-4) vs. Nebraska (9-4)
Dec.30, 8:00 PM - ESPN

A word from our sponsor: Besides the title sponsor this bowl has a who's who of corporate supporters. There's Bank of America, AT&T, Bumble Bee Foods, Dr Pepper, Jack in the Box, Sea World and the World Wide Leader. Like I said earlier, the closer you get to New Year's Day the more the big boys step up.

On the field: After watching two god-awful defenses in the earlier game we'll get a chance to see two of the best defenses in the nation. Both Nebraska and Arizona were seconds away from winning their conferences but both teams fell just short. Nebraska had Texas beat 12-11 in the Big 12 championship game when Texas quarterback Colt McCoy threw the ball out of bounds as time expired but the officials replayed the play and put 1 second on the clock. That allowed kicker Hunter Lawrence to make a 46-yard field goal and pull out the win for Texas. Similarly Arizona was pulling off an upset of Oregon leading 31-24 in the final minute, but an eight-yard Ducks TD pass with 6 seconds sent the game into overtime and Oregon won 44-41.

Arizona has the better offense statistically with QB Nick Foles who completed 66% of his passes for 2438 yards and 19 TD's. The Wildcats' offensive line, which has only allowed 11 sacks all season, will have one thing on their mind: find a way to slow down Defensive Tackle freak Ndamukong Suh who finished fourth in the Heisman Voting. Suh lead the Huskers with 82 tackles, 12 sacks and 23 tackles for loss but put on his best performance against the Longhorns. Facing double teams all day he had 12 tackles, 9 for zero or negative yards and 4 ½ sacks. Nebraska is second in the FBS in points allowed at 11.2 per game and ninth in total defense, giving up an average of 284.5 yards. On the other side of the ball, Nebraska relies on running back Roy Helu who rushed for 1,139 yards and 9 TD's.

+1 two tough defenses
+1 best DT in the nation vs. strong offensive line
-1 two average offenses

MCR 1(Woman's Heart)

Matchup Comparison Rating: the Christmas hangover edition

Ok, so other than the surprisingly entertaining 2 overtime New Mexico bowl, the games have sucked. Not to worry, we've adjusted the MCR and we won't let you down. I hope.

LITTLE CAESARS BOWL
Marshall (6-6) vs. Ohio (9-4)
Dec. 26, 1:00 PM - ESPN

A word from our sponsor: Of course this bowl should be called the "Pizza, Pizza" bowl because of the title sponsor but this bowl is also sponsored by a wide range of companies, everything from the United Auto Workers, to AT&T, to Blue Cross and Blue Shield, to the Detroit Lions. The closer we get to New Year's day, the more the sponsors pile on

On the field: Ok, stick with me here this is going to get messy. After a stretch of losing three of four games to end the season Mark Snyder resigned as coach of the Thundering Herd and Marshal hired West Virginia assistant John "Doc" Holliday and gave him a five year contract. He's not at the bowl though, erstwhile defensive coordinator and interim coach Rick Minter will coach the team for one game. Sounds ugly doesn't it? It could get that way. Marshall is led by… Marshall. Running back Darius Marshall who is returning from an ankle injury was a second-team all-conference selection and rushed for 1054 yards and 11 TD's. Ohio's run defense is quite porous so it could play right into the hands of Marshall (both the running back and the team). Ohio is led by QB Theo Scott who completed just over 58% of his passes for 2258 yards and 19 TD's. Scott's favorite target is WR Taylor Price who has 52 receptions on the season. They also have Tight End Cody Slate who made 50 receptions for 607 yards, that was good enough to make him a Mackey Award finalist.

+1 strong passing attack vs. strong rushing attack
-1 Lame-duck coach
-1 barely bowl eligible team
MCR 0 (Rosie O'Donnell Talk Show)

MEINEKE CAR CARE BOWL
Pittsburgh (9-3) vs. UNC (8-4)
Dec. 26, 4:30 PM - ESPN

A word from our sponsor: Meineke has turned simple jobs like flushing an AC system and changing brake pads into a Million dollar company. They're so successful at it that they can be the title sponsor of a bowl game. All that and yet they can't pay someone to come up with a better slogan than "At Meineke, you're always the Driver." I have no idea what that means.

On the field: This should be renamed the disappointment bowl. Pitt has to try and get past two straight last-minute losses including a heartbreaker against Cincy that cost Pitt the Big East title. UNC has been tough to figure out this year, they beat Virginia Tech and Miami, but lost to Virginia and NC State.

Pitt's offense is quite formidable with quarterback Bill Stull who has thrown for 2470 yards, 21 TD's and only 8 picks. Pitt is well balanced with super freshman Dion Lewis who finished third nationally in rushing yards per game and is 46 yards shy of Tony Dorsett's 36-year-old Pitt freshman record of 1,686 rushing yards. On the other side of the ball the Tar Heels rank sixth nationally in total defense and ninth against the run. Pitt's bread and butter on defense is their line which is largely responsible for the Panthers FBS best 45 sacks. That could spell doom for North Carolina's T.J. Yates who is the ACC's 10^th rated passer.
+1 strong offense
+1 strong rushing attack vs. good rushing defense
+1 record breaking freshman running back
-1 strong blowout possibility
MCR 2(Microwave Dinner)

EMERALD BOWL
USC (8-4) vs. BC (8-4)
Dec. 26, 8:00 PM – ESPN

A word from our sponsor: Who knew that selling something as mundane as nuts could be so profitable? Diamond Foods, that's who. From their website (which I think was created by the makers of Monte Python) Emerald, the nut brand of Diamond Foods was first made public on July 21, 2005 and has the simple goal of being "a branded food company that specializes in everything NUTS." Awesome, a company that's proud to be nuts!

On the field: BC was picked to finish last in the ACC's Atlantic Division (aren't college football reporters smart?) but will play in a bowl for the 11^th straight year. USC isn't used to playing this early in bowl season, the Trojans have been in the Rose Bowl or the Orange Bowl for seven straight years. USC could be without the services of star running back Joe McKnight who didn't initially travel with the team because he had to do some "paperwork" as coach Pete Carroll said. No telling if that "paperwork" had anything to do with the SUV McKnight was seen driving around LA.

If USC is without McKnight's services they will have to rely heavily on Matt Barkley who was inconsistent all season long and finished with a Pac-10 leading 12 interceptions and only 13 TD's. BC had their own freshman QB woes as Dave Shinskie was last in the conference completing only 52.8 percent of his passes. BC has relied more on running back Montel Harris, who set school records with 264 rushing yards and five touchdowns in a 52-20 win over North Carolina State on Oct. 17.
+1 strong running game
+1 schadenfreude – seeing USC in a crappy bowl a day after Christmas.
-1 bad mismatch possibility
MCR 1 (Woman's Heart)

GAYLORD HOTELS MUSIC CITY BOWL
Kentucky (7-5) vs. Clemson (8-5)

Dec. 27, 8:30 PM – ESPN

A word from our sponsor: From the bowl's website here's how it's described. The Bowl is played in a world-class city known for incredible entertainment and southern hospitality. A post-season college football game played in late December in Nashville, TN. A 501(c)3 non-profit organization, the Bowl is an NCAA sanctioned event that currently features the two top football conferences in the country, the Southeastern Conference (SEC) and the Atlantic Coast Conference (ACC). Who knew that Nashville was so awesome and the ACC was one of the top two football conferences in the country?

On the field: The Wildcats will be making their 3^rd trip to the Music City bowl in the last four years. They will be looking to win their fourth consecutive postseason game. Both teams encountered close late-season losses to land in the Music City Bowl. The player to watch in this game is versatile running back C.J. Spiller the ACC player of the year. Spiller scored TD's five different ways: 11 rushing, 4 receiving, 4 on kickoff returns, 1 on a punt return and 1 on a pass. He ended up sixth on the Heisman Trophy voting. Oh by the way, Kentucky will be without its best defensive player linebacker Sam Maxwel who had shoulder surgery. That's not the only injury for Kentucky, they have been without QB Mike Hartline and have had to rely on freshman Morgan Newton. They do have some offensive firepower, tailback Derrick Locke and all-purpose WR Randall Cobb have combined for 1,381 yards rushing and 16 touchdowns, with Cobb averaging 6.4 yards per carry.
+1 Heisman finalist
+1 two strong running attacks
-1 mismatch probability
MCR 1 (Woman's Heart)

Matchup Comparison Rating: the Deck the Halls edition

While you're putting up the Christmas tree and wrapping the gifts* you'll have the opportunity to catch some college football. How good will the games be? The MCR has you covered.

MAACO LAS VEGAS BOWL
Oregon St (8-4) vs. BYU (10-2)
Dec. 22, 8:00 PM - ESPN

A word from our sponsor: According to their website www.maaco.com, No one does more auto body repair and auto paint jobs than Maaco. According to pissed consumer.com they don't do such a great job at it. Of course Maaco is the title sponsor but it wouldn't be the Las Vegas bowl without plenty of casino sponsors like the Venetian and Fremont Street.

On the field:BYU really really likes the Las Vegas bowl, so much so that they decided to make this their fifth consecutive trip. Those Mormons like them some gambling don't they? There are some side stories to this game, BYU coach Bronco Mendenhall played for Oregon State a team that has won five straight bowls. On paper this should be a very compelling game. You have the 16^th and 13^th best passing attacks and 23^rd and 13^th highest scoring offenses. This game also has a family theme to it. Oregon State is led by the Rodgers brothers, leading rusher Jacquizz (1377 yards, 20TD's) and leading receiver James (1004 yards, 9TD's). BYU is led by QB Max Hall whose favorite target is Mackey Award finalist tight end Dennis Pitta who happens to be Hall's brother-in-law. BYU's leading rusher is Harvey Unga who ran for 1,031 yards and 10 touchdowns this year. The Cougars' all-time leading rusher with 3,384 yards, he is the cousin of Oregon State freshman players Devin and Kevin Unga. Both QB's Max Hall and Sean Canfield can light the scoreboard up. Both are completing around 70% of their passes, both have thrown for more than 3,000 yards and the two have combined for 51 TD's. The over/under sits at 59, that might be too low.

+1 2 strong offenses
+1 Mormons in Vegas
+1 shootout possibility
+1 two evenly matched teams

MCR 4 (Viper/Shelby Cobra)

SAN DIEGO COUNTY CU POINSETTIA BOWL
Utah (9-3) vs. California (8-4)
Dec. 23, 8:00 PM - ESPN

A word from our sponsor: San Diego County Credit Union is a member owned financial institution focused on serving the financial needs of San Diego, Riverside and Orange County residents. For a credit union to have the kind of money to title sponsor a bowl, there must be a lot of rich people in Orange County and Riverside. Keep in mind the World Wide Leader and AT&T are corporate sponsors as well which means they forked over $25,000 plus, remember that next time you get your AT&T phone bill.

On the field: Utah is trying to extend the nation's longest postseason winning streak to nine games and just like our beloved Nittany Lions, trying to prove they can beat a decent team. Utah played three ranked teams and lost to all of them. Cal had high hopes coming into the season but blowout losses to Oregon and USC, and a horrible lost to Washington in the season finale dashed any BCS notions. Cal will also be without star running back Jahvid Best who is still recovering from a concussion. Utah led the Mountain West with 15 interceptions and held opponents to an average of 172.8 passing yards. That doesn't bode well for Cal quarterback Kevin Riley who has only managed to complete just over 54% of his passes. The Utes have a decent running back threat in Eddie Wide, who led the conference with 1,032 rushing yards while averaging 5.7 yards per carry.

+1 two evenly matched teams
+1 two decent defenses
-1 two pathetic offenses

MCR 1(Woman's Heart)

SHERATON HAWAII BOWL
Nevada (8-4) vs. SMU (7-5)
Dec. 24, 8:00 PM - ESPN

A word from our sponsor: Sheraton Hotels & Resorts, Outback Steakhouse, and Heineken beer. That sounds like the trifecta of sponsors to me. Get a good steak, get drunk and pass out on the beach.

On the field: SMU will be playing in a postseason bowl for the first time since getting the NCAA death penalty 25 years ago. Coach June Jones has turned his inaugural 1-11 season into a 7-5 campaign the biggest turnaround in the FBS. For their efforts they get the team with three (?!?!) 1000 yard rushers. Nevada lost three consecutive games to start the season and then reeled off eight straight to challenge Boise State for the WAC title but lost to the broncos 44-33.

Nevada leads all FBS teams with 362.3 rushing yards per game, and scores 40.6 points per game. They are also 2^nd in total yards averaging a whopping 521.6 yards per game. Junior quarterback Colin Kaepernick was the Wolf Pack's go to guy throwing for 1875 yards and rushing for 1160 and scoring 35 touchdowns combined. Luke Lippincott and Vai Taua were the other two running backs to break the 1,000 yard mark for the season. SMU is not without weapons though, despite the pass-happy run-and-shoot that Jones likes, the Mustangs were more balanced thanks to Shawnbrey McNeal who ran for 1,125 yards and 9 touchdowns.

+1 kick-ass offense
+1 3-1,000 yard rushers
+1 pistol vs. run-and-shoot
+1 high probability of offensive explosion
-1 potential blowout

MCR 3 (Jessica Simpson Sex Tape)

*by wrapping gifts I mean putting the gift cards in their envelopes

Matchup Comparison Rating makes its triumphant 2009 debut

It's that wonderful time of year when life is much simpler, friends come together, and there's good will toward men. Of course I'm talking about Bowl season, and it starts this weekend. Just like the Holidays we've established a grand tradition here at TNL; over the past three bowl seasons we always bring out the Matchup Comparison Rating or MCR to rate the bowls before they start (yes I'll finish it this year). Think of it as a public service to all our readers. An extremely scientific (read: totally random) way for you to gauge the two teams matched up in each bowl so that if you must miss a game you can pick the right one. Thank us later. Just as last year the rating system goes from 0 to 5 and of course 0 is as bad as it gets. Without further ado let's bring on the rating system and the weekend games!

NEW MEXICO BOWL
Wyoming (6-6) vs. Fresno St (8-4)
Dec. 19, 4:30 PM - ESPN

A word from our sponsor: Now this is a winner of a bowl! Just look at all the New Mexico based sponsors, it's practically a cornucopia of venerable businesses. If the New Mexico State Parks or the New Mexico Department of Agriculture don't impress you then surely Bob Turner's Ford Country does. At the very least El Pinto with its "Salsa Locator" will astound you. Logon and join the El Pinto blog or twitter feed so you can get all the latest news and discussions… about salsa.

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On the field:

Fresno State is playing in its second straight New Mexico Bowl (must be the fresh salsa) and 10^th bowl game in the last 11 seasons. For Wyoming, they squeaked out a win in the final game to make it to their first bowl in five years under first year coach Dave Christensen. Fresno ended the season with a 53-52 win over the Fighting Zookers of Illinois. Bulldogs running back Ryan Mathews led all FBS running backs with 151.3 yards rushing per game and QB Ryan Colburn threw for 2,333 yards and 18 TD's completing 60 % of his passes. Wyoming has a similarly proficient QB in freshman Austyn Carta-Samuels who completed 59% of his passes but for only 1752 yards. In fact Wyoming's offense has struggled at times this season getting shut out three times. So this is a slam-dunk victory for Fresno right? Wrong. Both teams are abysmal on defense, Fresno is 111^th against the rush and boasts the 81^st scoring defense. Similarly the Cowboys gave up 27.3 points per game and are 91^st against the rush. This one could get messy.

+1 nation's best runningback
+1 bichin' offense
+1 shootout possibility
-1 two horrible defenses

MCR 2 (Microwave Dinner)

ST. PETERSBURG BOWL
UCF (8-4) vs. Rutgers (8-4)
Dec. 19, 8:00 PM - ESPN

A word from our sponsor:
St. Petersburg in the Russian Federation seems like a long distance to travel for a bowl game. Oh, it's not THAT St. Petersburg, it's this St. Petersburg. Got it.

The title sponsor for the St. Petersburg Bowl (in Florida) is Beef 'O' Brady's which sounds like a porn star name if ever I've heard one. The restaurant chain has 255 locations in 23 different states throughout the Southeast and Midwest. 'Ole Beefy Beefertin has locations in Ohio, Maryland, and oddly enough Maine, but just like El Pinto salsa you can't get it in Pennsylvania. Mark down two sponsors that hate us.

On the field:

It's a battle of the Scarlet Knights versus the plain ole' Knights. The Knights (of the scarlet variety) are looking to win their fourth bowl in a row and the Knights (of the Florida variety) are just happy to be in a bowl after taking last season off. Statistically speaking UCF and Rutgers are almost a push. They are 73^rd and 74^th in rushing yards, respectively, and 70^th and 64^th in points scored. Neither team is going to light the scoreboard up but there are some offensive weapons in this game. RU RB Joe Martinek is averaging nearly 5 yards a rush and leads the team with 9 TD's and 923 yards rushing. UCF QB Brett Hodges threw for 705 yards and 5 TD's over the last three games for the Knights leading them to wins. On the season Hodges has completed over 61% of his passes for 2263 yards. UCF has the fourth best defense against the run but they gave up 205 yards on the ground against UAB in their final game. Rutgers inconsistency was largely due to freshman QB Tom Savage who was last in the Big East with a 52.3 completion rate.

+1 two evenly matched teams
+1 one decent defense
-1 two pathetic offenses

MCR 1(Woman's Heart)

R+L CARRIERS NEW ORLEANS BOWL
So Miss (7-5) vs. M Tenn St (9-3)
Dec. 20, 8:30 PM - ESPN

A word from our sponsor: R+L Carriers live by the motto "We ship anything, anywhere, anytime… Guaranteed." Yeah right, I'll bet they can't deliver an elephant to Springfield.

Stampy was NOT delivered by R+L Carriers

On the field:

Middle Tennessee is trying to finish off its best season since joining the FBS with a seventh straight win against Southern Miss. Directional Tennessee boasts the ninth best player in the FBS in total yards, QB Dwight Dasher. After getting fired from Auburn in the middle of last the season, offensive coordinator Tony Franklin installed the spread offense at Middle Tennessee and it paid off. Just like the St. Petersburg bowl both these teams are evenly matched and both have explosive offenses. The two teams rank 30^th and 31^st in total yards, 42^nd and 45^th in passing and both score over 30 points per game. Unlike the St. Petersburg bowl both teams have very good defenses. Middle Tennessee has the nation's best defense in tackle for loss (8.83 per game) and are fourth in sacks (3.17 per). Cornerback Marcus Udel was among the nation's best with 7 INT's. Southern Miss is no slouch on D, they rank 12^th in sacks and 22^nd in TFL. The one glaring weakness for SMU is the lack of pass defense, they rank 113^th.

+1 two evenly matched teams
+1 two active defenses
+1 two prolific offenses
-1 offense/defense mismatch

MCR 2 (Microwave Dinner)

Matchup Comparison Rating: the New Year’s Day edition

Moving right along to the New Year's day bowl games we finally get to see our beloved Nittany Lions. Roll out the MCR:

Outback Bowl
11:00 AM – ESPN
South Carolina (7-5) vs. Iowa (8-4)
It's strange to see a New Year's Day bowl with two teams that have neither 8 wins or a national ranking but here we are. South Carolina had a lot of trouble scoring during the year and they come in ranking 99^th in points. Iowa on the other hand is 34^th with the 29^th best rushing attack behind Shonn Greene. The two defenses are good the Cocks are 11^th nationally in total defense and the Hawkeyes are one spot behind. Both these teams are going in opposite directions as Iowa has surged to end the season while South Carolina is trying to avoid a 3^rd straight loss. Like all Spurrier coached teams of the past South Carolina comes into the game with a quarterback controversy. After throwing four interceptions that were turned into touchdowns, Chris Smelley was benched for freshman Stephen Garcia. Iowa has no such problems as Ricky Stanzi took over the starting role and hasn't looked back. Of course it helps to have the Big Ten Offensive player and Doak Walker Award winner at running back. This is probably the only bowl game for the Big Ten where the Big Ten team is favored.
+1 Big Ten team
+1 the possibility of seeing a Smelley Cock (sorry couldn't resist).
+1 chance to see Spurrier throw the visor
+1 Shonn Greene
MCR 4 (Viper/Shelby Cobra)

Capital One Bowl
1:00 PM – ABC
15) Georgia (9-3) vs. 18) Michigan St (9-3)
Call this one the battle of the team that really overachieved vs. the team that really underachieved. No one expected Michigan State to make it to a New Year's Day bowl game but they made it behind the running of Javon Ringer. No one thought Georgia with its preseason #1 ranking would end up here either but after three crushing losses here they are. This really comes down to the battle of Ringer vs. Georgia running back Knowshon Moreno who rushed for 1,338 yards but was under 100 in each of their three losses. Stop Moreno and you stop Georgia, but the same can be said for Ringer and Michigan State. Both backs are in the top 16 nationally in rushing average.
+1 two awesome running backs
+1 SEC vs. Big Ten – chance to shut the press up about "SEC speed"
+1 two Doak Walker finalists
MCR 3 (Jessica Simpson Sex Tape)

Gator Bowl
Nebraska (8-4) vs. Clemson (7-5)
1:00 PM – CBS
Another team with high expectations, Clemson underachieved so much that they needed a coaching change. Both teams are coming in on winning streaks, Clemson was victorious in four of its last five while Nebraska was won five of its final six. On paper Nebraska leads Clemson a lot in every statistical category. The Cornhuskers are 12^th in total yards, 15^th in passing, and 17^th in points scored. But as we know games aren't played on paper and it's unlikely that Nebraska has seen a tailback tandem like James Davis and C.J. Spiller. Neither was productive earlier in the season but they Clemson averaged 347.0 yards during their last three victories.
+1 good tailback tandem
+1 one of the best offenses in the country
+1 rushing team vs. passing team
MCR 3 (Jessica Simpson Sex Tape)

The Rose Bowl
8) The Good Guys (11-1) vs. 5) Pete Carroll's flawless hair
4:30 PM – ABC
This game has been broken down from just about every single angle possible so I'm not going to say much about it we're all sick of hearing about it. Let's just say that on paper these two teams are as evenly matched as any of the bowl games. I think this one comes down to special teams and I think Derrick Williams is the difference.
+1 it's Penn State
+1 chance to once again see PSU as the big underdog
+1 granddaddy of them all
+1 Old School vs. New School
MCR 4 (Viper/Shelby Cobra)

FedEx Orange Bowl
12) Cincinnati (11-2) vs. 19) Virginia Tech (9-4)
8:30 PM – FOX
This will easily be the biggest game in the Bearcats history as it's their first Big East title and first BCS bowl game. There's plenty for Virginia Tech to play for if they win they would join Southern California and Texas as the only major college teams to win 10 games in each of the past five seasons, plus end the ACC's eight-game losing streak in BCS matchups. Tech has the 7^th best defense in yards allowed and the 13^th best scoring defense but they have one of the worst offenses in all of college football. They do have a decent rushing attack (42^nd) but they are 100^th in points scored. Cincinnati, on the other hand, ranks 25^th nationally in passing despite having to use five quarterbacks this season because of injury. The Hokies are very good in special teams just what you would expect out of a Frank Beamer-coached team.
+1 good defense vs. good offense
+1 decent running back
+1 chance to see Big East team get flattened.
-1 one of the worst New Year's day matchups I can remember
MCR 2 (Microwave Dinner)

Matchup Comparison Rating: the New Year’s Eve edition

Before we toast the New Year we have some football related business to tend to and today we have a big slate so let's get to the introductions. As always here is TNL's MCR.

Bell Helicopter Armed Forces Bowl
Houston (7-5) vs. Air Force (8-4)
12:00 PM – ESPN

A word from our sponsor: If you thought the Texas bowl had a lot of sponsors check out the Armed Forces Bowl. That's 82 for those keeping track at home. Of course the main sponsor is Bell Helicopter (duh) and their charter says this about the company:

We design, build, and support the most proven, most reliable, and best performing aircraft in the world. With our revolutionary tiltrotor technology, we are redefining flight. Welcome to the leading edge of vertical lift.

So there you go, not sure what that means but there you have it.
On the field: Houston is averaging a whopping 575 yards per game to lead the nation. They do it through the air and air force is 5^th in the nation in rushing but 118^th in passing. Something seems backwards there. You want crazy Playstation-esque numbers – Houston quarterback Case Keenum threw for 4768 yards 43!!! TD's and only 10 ints. Air force doesn't have anyone of statistical relevance because they do it by committee on the ground. Their best rusher (Todd Newell) only has 594 yards rushing. Houston is looking for their first bowl victory in 28 years.
+1 strong rushing attack vs. strong passing attack
+1 nation's best passing attack
+1 service academy (if you don't watch the terrorists win)
+1 quarterback with crazy offensive numbers
-1 possibility of blowout
MCR 3 – (Jessica Simpson Sex Tape)

Sun Bowl
Oregon St (8-4) vs. (20) Pittsburgh (9-3)
2:00 PM – ESPN
A word from our sponsor:

Hi! Thanks for watching.

On the field: Both teams were a heartbeat away from BCS bowls but instead end up here. Pittsburgh's only win of note: South Florida, Oregon State's win of note: USC. Just sayin'. Oregon State is coming into this game with one arm tied behind it's back as their best running back Jacquizz Rodgers and one of their best wide receivers, brother James Rodgers are out due to injury. That means quarterback Lyle Moevao will have to be special if the Beavers are going to win. Oregon State will have to neutralize talented Pittsburgh running back LeSean McCoy if they want to have a chance to win.
+1 possibility of pure Schadenfreude (face it you'll tune in to watch Shittsburgh lose)
+1 solid running back vs. decent defense
-1 team with best player shelved due to injury
MCR 1 (Woman's Heart)

Gaylord Hotels Music City Bowl
(24) Boston College (9-4) vs. Vanderbilt (6-6)
3:30 PM – ESPN
A word from our sponsor: I'd give you a short write-up about the sponsors of this bowl but let this really annoying PDF do it for you. Anybody that uses PDF's for anything other than user's manuals should be shot.
On the field: Wow, if there was ever a "gouge your eyes out with a spork" bowl game this would be it. Boston College has a quarterback (Chris Crane) that threw for 1721 yards which is a plus. Unfortuneatly, he's out because of a fractured collarbone so redshirt freshman Dominique Davis will make his third career start. There's not a 1,000 yard passer or receiver or a 1,000 yard back in this game. BC is 63^rd in the nation in rushing and that's the BEST offensive statistic between these two teams. First one to 6 wins. Just skip this one unless you are really bored.
-1 two terrible offenses
-1 best offensive player out
MCR 0 (Rosie O'Donnell Talk Show)

Insight Bowl
Kansas (7-5) vs. Minnesota (7-5)
6:00 PM – NFL Network
A word from our sponsor: Honestly, I read the entire corporate introduction and I still have no freakin' clue what Insight does.

Insight is a technology solutions provider serving global and local clients in 170 countries… In addition, we offer a comprehensive portfolio which also includes hardware and value added services for our clients in North America and the U.K. We are aggressively expanding our global capabilities by introducing new offerings, including hardware and services, to meet emerging needs for our clients worldwide.

That, my friends, is some serious corporate bullshit. Anytime you have the terms "value added" and "emerging needs" in a statement you can bet it was written by some piss-ant middle manger with a Masters in business.
On the field: Both teams have four-game losing streaks to end the season. The difference is Kansas managed to knock off Missouri while Minnesota was getting pummeled by Iowa 55-0. The combination of quarterback Todd Reesing (3575 yards 28 TD's) and Dezmon Briscoe (1206 yards 12 TD's) will probably be too much for the Gophers to handle. Minnesota relied on turnovers for their defense; as long as Kansas holds onto the ball they should win. Kansas is better in every major offensive category and they are 7^th in the nation in passing. Minnesota is 91^st in totally yards while Kansas is 23^rd. This one doesn't look good for the Big Ten.
+1 Big Ten team
+1 kick-ass offense
-1 possibility of blowout
MCR 1 (Woman's Heart)

Chick-Fil-A Bowl
LSU (7-5) vs. (14) Georgia Tech (9-3)
7:30 PM – ESPN
A word from our sponsor: This bowl was once the Peach Bowl but is now named after really shitty fast-food deep fried chicken. They should have kept it the Peach Bowl.
On the field: This is the battle of two teams with something to prove. Georgia Tech is ranked 14^th and wants to prove that ranking isn't a fluke. As for the Tigers, has there been a bigger disappointment this season? Oh right, sorry Georgia fans. LSU is one year removed from the national championship but has five losses and is unranked. Georgia Tech isn't going to fool anyone they are 117^th passing and 3^rd rushing – they're going to run no matter what. Tech running back Jonathan Dwyer rushed for over 1300 yards with an impressive 7.0 yard average. LSU, on the other hand, is a little more balanced with quarterback Jarrett Lee throwing for 1873 yards and 13 TD's and running back Charles Scott rushing for 1109 yards and 15 touchdowns. First year Tech coach Paul Johnson likes to spread things out to run and has Yellow Jackets fans wanting more. Georgia Tech lost five or more games in seven straight seasons before Johnson's arrival.
+1 team that turned it around quickly
+1 good rushing attack
+1 Schadenfreude (chance to see last year's champ end up 7-6)
-1 possibility of blowout
MCR 2 (Microwave Dinner)

Matchup Comparison Rating is catching up

I've been on vacation and very busy. For some reason I end up taking vacation and working more than I do at work. I missed a couple bowls but I'm back now and hopefully can complete the year out. Don't worry, your TNL fan club sponsorship fee will be cheerfully refunded. Onward!

Roady's Humanitarian Bowl
Maryland (7-5) vs. Nevada (7-5)
4:30 PM – ESPN
A word from our sponsor: Yes!!! a bowl game… in Idaho… brought to you by a trucking company. That's apropos considering the only people that would voluntarily visit Idaho are truckers. And maybe potato farmers.
On the field: Maryland ended the regular season on a 1-3 skid transforming a possible Orange Bowl berth into a trip to Boise. Now they get to face one of the best offenses in the nation, congrats on that. Nevada is 5^th in total yards and the 2^nd best rushing team. Running back Vai Taua has 1420 yards rushing and is averaging 6.7 yards per clip. Did I mention that Maryland has the 72^nd ranked rush defense in the nation? Oh by the way Nevada quarterback Colin Kaepernick was the WAC offensive player of the year while passing for 2,479 yards and 19 TDs and rushing for 1,115 yards and 16 scores. Hide the woman and children.
+1 offensive juggernaut
+1 kick-ass rushing attack
+1 dual-threat QB
+1 awesome RB name impossible to pronounce by a mere mortal TV announcer
-1 extreme possibility of blowout
MCR 3 (Jessica Simpson Sex Tape)

Pacific Life Holiday Bowl
(13) Oklahoma St (9-3) vs. (17) Oregon (9-3)
8:00 PM – ESPN
A word from our sponsor: Any bowl sponsored by a foot long hotdog,
Casino and brewing company (warning – link has unstoppable annoying Hawaiian-themed background music) is ok in my book. That's just a match made in heaven.
On the field: This one is simple people: we have two really explosive offenses against two really shitty defenses. This one could end up 100-96. Both running backs average 6.7 yards per carry or better, the two quarterbacks combined for 36 touchdowns while only throwing 12 INT's, and both offenses rank in the top ten in total yards, rushing yards, and points. It's going to be good.
+1 two awesome offenses
+1 two ranked teams with identical records
+1 two top ten rushing attacks
+1 possibility of scoreboard explosion
+1 two teams scoring over 40 points per game
-1 no defense (this could be a good thing though)
MCR 4 (Viper/Shelby Cobra)

Texas Bowl
Western Michigan (9-3) vs. Rice (9-3)
8:00 PM – NFL Network
A word from our sponsor: Wow, what a bevy of garbage that sponsors this bowl. There are sixty nine (that's 69!) sponsors for this bowl. And the assholes at the NFL network have taken this game hostage so most of you won't see it any way. Good game to host NFL network, why don't you stick to showing bland professional football and let the good stuff to the networks people actually care about?
On the field: Rice essentially gets a home game in this one so look for them to have a strong following, that is if you can actually watch the game. Rice boasts the 5^th best passing attack and the nation's only receiving tandem that averaged over 100 receiving yards per game (WR's James Casey and Jarrett Dillard). Both quarterbacks have thrown for more than 3500 yards and 34 and 41 touchdowns respectively. The Broncos defense ranks 96^th in the nation against the pass. Again the theme for today is points, points, points.
+1 two great passing attacks
+1 two great offenses vs. two shitty defenses
+1 two awesome quarterbacks with playstation numbers
-1 NFL Network can kiss our asses.
MCR 2 (Microwave Dinner)

Matchup Comparison Rating: the Christmas hangover edition

Hope everyone had a merry Christmas and while college football took the day off it's back to the grind starting tonight and in earnest tomorrow. So on with TNL's MCR for the upcoming games this weekend. As always here's the rating system defined:

Meineke Car Care Bowl
West Virginia (8-4) vs. North Carolina (8-4)
Dec. 27, 1:00 PM – ESPN

A word from our sponsor: In its seventh year the Meineke Car Care Bowl, located in Charlotte will essentially be a home game for North Carolina. The bowl is sponsored by a wide range of corporations such as Allstate, Jeep, the God-awful Jack in the Box and something called Fuel Pizza which has "9 great locations" all in the Carolinas.

On the field: This will be the seventh-straight bowl appearance for West Virginia under second-year head coach Bill Stewart. Both these teams were flirting with the top of their respective divisions before faltering late in the season to end up here. The game will feature the nation's 12^th best rushing attack thanks to WV running back Noel Devine (which sounds like a porn name if ever I heard one) and senior quarterback Pat White. White is the NCAA's all-time leader in career rushing among quarterbacks with 4,425 yards, including four 200-yard games and 919 this year. North Carolina features 1000-yard receiver Hakeem Nicks who lead the conference in receiving yards per game. West Virginia boasts pretty good special teams (their 3^rd in the nation in net punting) and the better defense, statistically speaking, in this game.

+1 evenly matched records
+1 explosive rushing attack vs. good passing attack
+1 nation-leading quarterback
MCR 3 (Jessica Simpson Sex Tape)

Champs Sports Bowl
Wisconsin (7-5) vs. Florida State (8-4)
Dec. 27, 4:30 PM – ESPN

A word from our sponsor: The Capital One bowl and Champs Sports bowl are really sponsored by the same companies, mostly Capital One and Champs of course. But their also sponsored by Budweiser so you can get drunk and Dasani water so you can rehydrate the next day.

On the field: Florida State needs only four hours to make the trip to the Citrus bowl but it's not unfamiliar territory for Wisconsin either, they're making their fifth straight appearance in a Florida bowl. Both teams are trying to put a good end to very disappointing season. Wisconsin was picked to challenge Ohio State for the Big Ten title but lost nearly every big conference game after reaching as high as 9^th in the polls. Similarly, Florida State started out 6-1 and climbed to 16^th in the polls before losing three of their last five games. Both of these teams have great rushing attacks and horrible passing offenses. Both teams' quarterbacks have thrown just as many interceptions as touchdowns. Both teams also have solid defenses against the run, FSU ranks 34^th in the nation and Wisconsin ranks 43^rd. The team that can pass the ball effectively will be the team that wins this one. Florida State also has the nation's best kickoff return man in Michael Ray Garvin.

+1 two good rushing teams vs. two good rushing defenses
+1 chance to see Bobby Bowden lose
+1 dynamic kickoff returner
-1 two horrible quarterbacks
+1 Big 10 team
MCR 3 (Jessica Simpson Sex Tape)

Emerald Bowl
Miami (FL) (7-5) vs. California (8-4)
Dec. 27, 8:00 PM – ESPN

A word from our sponsor: Set in MLB's AT&T Park, home of the San Francisco Giants, the Emerald Bowl is a short drive away for California. Sure Emerald Nuts is the major contributor, but just look at the boatload of freakin' sponsors this bowl has. It think TNL could get some sponsorship for this bowl considering the sheer number. I did get 100 bucks for Christmas I'm sure that would buy me add space.

On the field: This is an interesting matchup to say the least. Cal running back Jahvid Best has the nation's best yards per carry at a staggering 8.0 while rushing for 1394 yards. Miami (of the Florida variety) gave up 691 rushing yards in back to back losses to Georgia Tech and North Carolina State. They gave up 472 (WTF?!) yards to the Yellow Jackets and then followed that up by giving up 219 yards to the Wolfpack. This could get ugly fast – like 8 yards a clip fast. It should also be noted that Cal has one of the nation's best turnover margins (6^th) and Miami has one of the nation's worst (101^st). Neither team is going to light up the scoreboard throwing the ball, so there's really not much more to be said.

+1 awesome running attack
+1 turnover's could be fun
+1 it's a Florida school and they could get crushed
-1 horrible passing offense
MCR 2 (Microwave Dinner)

Matchup Comparison Rating: the gearing up for Christmas edition

The first bowl games are in the bag so it's time to move along to the pre-Christmas games that whet your football-watching whistle for the games to come. Think of these as the stuffing in the turkey; delicious sure, but not as filling as the actual main course yet to come. As always we start by defining the MCR scale.

San Diego County Credit Union Poinsettia
(9) Boise State (12-0) at (11) TCU (10-2)
Dec. 23, 8 PM - ESPN

A word from our sponsor: As the name suggests the San Diego County Credit Union is a financial institution wholly owned by its members but its claim that "earnings are returned to members in the form of lower loan rates, higher dividends on deposits and lower fees" doesn't really hold water when you consider the gianormous amount of money they had to fork over to have their name attached to a bowl.

On the field: Congrats Boise State, you are one of two undefeated teams left in the country! No really you should be proud, if it were not for the God-awful system we use to decide the national champ you might actually be playing in a meaningful game and not on December 23^rd. Actually this looks to be a very awesome matchup and should not be relegated to such a crappy timeslot but here we are. Boise State has the 12th-ranked offense in the nation, averaging 39.4 points a contest and TCU has the second-ranked scoring defense, holding opponents to 10.9 points per game. The Horned frogs also have the top-ranked rushing defense while Boise boasts the third best scoring defense in the nation holding opponents to 12.3 points per game. TCU has the nation's best time of possession margin and the 13^th best rushing attack. On paper this thing should be a barn-burner. Frogs D-end Jerry Hughes leads the nation with 14 sacks and 18 ½ tackles for loss, and you thought Aaron Maybin was good. TCU's two losses? No. 2 Oklahoma and No. 10 Utah; it's going to be good, shame on you if you don't watch.

+2 two statistically stout teams
+1 matchup of two teams in the top 15
+1 chance to see an undefeated team
+1 statue of liberty play anyone?!?!

MCR 5 (Super Atomic Hot Wings)

SHERATON HAWAII BOWL
Hawaii (7-6) vs. Notre Dame (6-6)
Dec. 24, 8:00 PM - ESPN

A word from our sponsor: Sheraton Hotels & Resorts has reached a multi-year and multi-faceted agreement with ESPN Regional Television to become the title sponsor of the fourth annual Hawai'i Bowl.

I'm not entirely sure how the agreement can be "multi-faceted" but there you go. Other corporate sponsors besides ESPN and Sheraton: Heineken and Outback Steakhouse. That pretty much sounds like a deal with the devil if you ask me.

On the field: Hey look, Notre Dame is actually in a bowl they deserve and not grossly outmatched, how refreshing. If it were not for the chance to see Notre Dame lose its 10^th straight bowl game and end with a losing season this game would not be much to watch. We're talking about a matchup of the 63^rd and 73^rd best offenses and 108^th and 99^th best rushing attacks. Golden boy Jimmy Clausen completed about as many passes to the opposing defense as he did to his own guys (20 TD's 17 INT's). Neither team boasts a running back with more than 576 yards or a wide receiver with 1000. Basically you'll tune in to see fat-ass Chuck Weis lose again and that's all.

-1 two horrible offenses
+2 Schadenfreude
+1 possibility of seeing Chuck Weis in a Mumu

MCR 2 (Microwave Diner)

MOTOR CITY BOWL
Florida Atlantic (6-6) vs. Central Michigan (8-4)
Dec. 26 7:30 PM – ESPN

A word from our sponsor: Hey it's a bowl game sponsored by GM and Ford which means it's sponsored by you and me thanks to the tax payer bailout. It's also sponsored by ESPN but what isn't these days?

On the field: Central Michigan has a fondness for the Motor City Bowl as this will be their third straight appearance. FAU started out 1-5 but won 5 of their final 6 games including a bowl-clinching 57-50 overtime win over Florida International. Central Michigan ranks 24^th in offensive yards per game at 427.1 and is led by quarterback Dan "I have a" LeFevour who leads the team in passing and rushing. LeFevour is familiar with this bowl, he was the 2006 Motor City Bowl MVP. Wide receiver Antonio Brown is LeFevour's favorite target and he's also the recipient of the MAC's best special-teams player award. Legendary FAU coach Howard Schnellenberger is 5-0 all-time in bowl games and will look to keep that streak alive. Florida Atlantic has a top defensive presence in senior linebacker Frantz Joseph, the nation's second-best tackler with 141 to lead the Sun Belt in that category for a second straight season.

-1 .500 team
+1 dual threat quarterback
+1 strong defense

MCR 1 (Woman's Heart)

Matchup Comparison Rating: now with 20% more content

It's that wondrous time of year when men become kids and life is much simpler. Anticipation runs amuck with hopes of what could be. Dreams of the glorious past dance in our heads. Of course I'm talking about Bowl season, and it's just one short day away. On your way home from work, stop and get your favorite case (or cases) of beer and some starchy snacks and get ready for the gluttony. Tell the wife to take the kids shopping and get out of your hair for 8 hours*.

Just like the Holidays we've established a grand tradition here at TNL; over the past three bowl seasons we always bring out the Matchup Comparison Rating or MCR to rate the bowls before they start. Think of it as a public service to all our readers. An extremely scientific** way for you to gauge the two teams matched up in each bowl so that if you must miss a game you can pick the right one. Thank us later. In past years we rated games from 1 to 5 and I got to thinking, there are games out there that are so bad that they shouldn't even be rated so this season I've adjusted. This year the rating system goes from 0 to 5 and of course 0 is as bad as it gets. Without further ado let's bring on the rating system and the weekend games!

EagleBank Bowl
Wake Forest (7-5) vs. Navy (8-4)
Dec. 20, 11 AM - ESPN

A word from our sponsor: EagleBank? Really!? WTF is that? EagleBank is a local community business bank with fifteen offices in Montgomery County, MD, Northern Virginia and Washington, DC. Yes this is a "reward" for Wake and Navy – a game in RFK stadium on December 20^th with an ice storm bearing down on the Northeast. Somehow doesn't seem like the major reward that everyone categorizes the bowls as.

On the field: Not only is it a craptastic bowl but it's a matchup of two teams that already played. Navy used a strong defensive effort and forced four Riley Skinner interceptions to beat a then ranked and 3-0 Wake Forest team 24-17 back on Sept. 27. Navy boasts the nation's best rushing attack running for 298.3 yards per game. The Midshipmen have a running back tandem of Shun White and Eric Kettani who both have 2,000 yard career rushing records at the same time thanks in no small part to the Wishbone offense Navy runs. Not only should you tune in for the wishbone but you have to check it out for nothing more than their quarterback's name: Kaipo-Noa Kaheaku-Enhada. Suck on that ESPN announcers. Wake Forest had much bigger goals then their 7-5 record but the Demon Deacons' offense has sputtered ranking 103rd nationally in total offense, 101st in rushing yards and 97th in scoring offense.

+1 nation's best rushing offense
+1 awesome QB name impossible to pronounce by a mere mortal TV announcer
+1 service academy (if you don't watch the terrorists win)
-1 rematch

MCR 2 (Microwave Dinner)

New Mexico
Colorado St (6-6) vs. Fresno St (7-5)
Dec. 20, 2:30 PM - ESPN

A word from our sponsor: It's the third annual New Mexico bowl (who knew?). I believe the winner actually gets to own New Mexico for a week in August. The corporate sponsors are a bunch of New Mexican based business like the Pecan Growers of New Mexico and the New Mexico Department of Agriculture (what the hell grows there anyway… besides pecans). Oh, and McDonalds.

On the field: If you like defense don't turn this game on. Colorado State has nine sacks on the year (9!) and Fresno has a 4 INT's (4!), both FBS lows. After a 3-9 season last year Colorado State first-year coach Steve Fairchild has guided the Rams to a 6-6 record and bowl berth. Both teams have senior quarterbacks who threw around 2500 yards and 17 touchdowns but both have double digit interceptions, not that that matters with these two defenses. Fresno is giving up 30.3 points per game while Colorado is giving up 29.8. The first one to 75 wins. On the bright side, Fresno's best wide receiver is Seyi Ajirotutu, all together now: Suck it ESPN announcers!

-1 two horrible defenses
+1 possible offensive explosion
-1 .500 team
+1 two statistically even matched teams
+1 awesome WR name impossible to pronounce by a mere mortal TV announcer

MCR 1 (Woman's Heart)

magicJack St. Petersburg
Memphis (6-6) vs. South Florida (7-5)
Dec. 20, 4:30 PM – ESPN2

A word from our sponsor: Although it sounds like a weapon a ninja would use magicJack is nothing more than a VOIP device in direct competition with Vonage and Skype. It's a USB device that allows you to plug your phone into your computer and use your High-Speed internet service as a phone line. It claims to be so simple "your grandmother could use it." That is if your grandmother knew how to use a computer.

On the field: Another team with high expectations, South Florida started out 5-0 and ranked 10^th but then lost five of its last seven. In their wins the Bulls averaged 34.9 points but in their losses they managed only 14.8. Quarterback Matt Grothe leads the team in both rushing and passing setting career-high numbers in passing yards (2,675) and tying career-highs in touchdowns (15). Unfortunately he threw 14 interceptions with 11 coming in the last five games. Basically when South Florida wins they play great and when they lose they play horrible, there's no gray area here. South Florida ranks 9^th against the run while Memphis has one of the best rushing attacks in the nation. Not one of Memphis' six wins came against an opponent with a winning record.

-1 .500 team
-1 possible blowout
+1 two statistically even matched teams
+1 dual threat quarterback running a powerful offense

MCR 0 (Rosie O'Donnell Talk Show)

Pioneer Las Vegas
(16) Brigham Young (10-2) vs. Arizona (7-5)
Dec. 20 8:00 PM - ESPN

A word from our sponsor: What a hodgepodge of sponsors this bowl has. Everything from casinos to cable companies to lazy-boy to gas companies to Xbox 360. It seems everyone wants a piece of Vegas, and why not it's a great place, unless you're a Mormon.

On the field: BYU is making its fourth straight appearance in this bowl which is quite ironic considering it a religious based school. Arizona, on the other hand, is just playing in its fourth bowl in the last decade. Both teams have potent offenses with accurate quarterbacks but the Wildcats like to get it done on the ground while the Cougars like to air it out. BYU quarterback Max Hall led the Mountain West in passing yards (3,629), touchdowns (34) and passer rating (160.3), but the Wildcat's are 14th in the FBS in pass defense (169.8). Arizona quarterback Willie Tuitama is no slouch either, he finished second in the Pac-10 in passing yards (2,763), touchdowns (21) and QB rating (143.0). Both teams have running backs over the century mark.

+1 two good offenses
+1 good quarterback vs. good passing D
+1 top 10 passing offense (BYU is 9th in Passing Yards)
-1 record disparity

MCR 2 (Microwave Dinner)

R+L Carriers New Orleans
Southern Miss (6-6) vs. Troy (8-4)
Dec. 21, 8:15 PM ESPN

A word from our sponsor: R+L Carriers ship stuff. Like 99% of the other people watching this bowl I didn't know they existed and will never use their service, but someone in their marketing department thought it was a good idea to sponsor a bowl. By the way, it's the geeky engineer coming out in me because it's actually R&L. R+L looks like half of a function and not a name. That bugs me for some odd reason.

On the field: Southern Miss was 2-6 at one point in the season losing 5 in a row but thanks to a 4 game win streak to end the season they made it to the R & L Carriers bowl. Troy won its first outright Sun Belt Conference title and is looking for its first 9 win season since joining the FBS. Both teams have prolific offenses ranking 38^th or higher in all the major offensive statistical categories. The Trojans have one of the best run defenses in the nation (26^th) and are holding opponents to just 3.5 yards per rush. Southern Miss freshman Austin Davis threw for 2,852 yards with 21 touchdowns with only 8 INTs. Troy quarterback Levin Brown wasn't the teams starter at the beginning of the season but stepped in the seventh game when starter Jamie Hampton was lost for the season. Brown has done an excellent job throwing 14 TD's and only 3 interceptions. Both quarterbacks take care of the ball. Both teams have 1,000 yard backs that average 5.4 yards per carry or better. You'll remember Troy from such games as Ohio State where they walked into Columbus and out-gained the Buckeyes and LSU where they jumped out to a 31-3 lead only to lose 40-31.

+1 two great offenses
+1 two statistically even teams (I mean look at how close these two offenses are)
+1 Sunday Night football! Kiss our ass NFL!
+1 two solid quaterbacks
-1 possible blowout – Troy's record should better and Southern Miss barely made it to a bowl

MCR 3 (Jessica Simpson Sex Tape)

*Ha! I know better it's more like "honey may I watch some football today? I'll clean the bathroom tomorrow." You disgust me whipped boy.

** if by "scientific" you mean completely arbitrary and extremely biased then yes it's very "scientific".