Wednesday, December 31, 2008

Matchup Comparison Rating: the New Year’s Eve edition

Before we toast the New Year we have some football related business to tend to and today we have a big slate so let's get to the introductions. As always here is TNL's MCR.

Bell Helicopter Armed Forces Bowl
(7-5) vs. Air Force (8-4)
12:00 PM – ESPN

A word from our sponsor: If you thought the Texas bowl had a lot of sponsors check out the Armed Forces Bowl. That's 82 for those keeping track at home. Of course the main sponsor is Bell Helicopter (duh) and their charter says this about the company:

We design, build, and support the most proven, most reliable, and best performing aircraft in the world. With our revolutionary tiltrotor technology, we are redefining flight. Welcome to the leading edge of vertical lift.

So there you go, not sure what that means but there you have it.
On the field: Houston is averaging a whopping 575 yards per game to lead the nation. They do it through the air and air force is 5th in the nation in rushing but 118th in passing. Something seems backwards there. You want crazy Playstation-esque numbers – Houston quarterback Case Keenum threw for 4768 yards 43!!! TD's and only 10 ints. Air force doesn't have anyone of statistical relevance because they do it by committee on the ground. Their best rusher (Todd Newell) only has 594 yards rushing. Houston is looking for their first bowl victory in 28 years.
+1 strong rushing attack vs. strong passing attack
+1 nation's best passing attack
+1 service academy (if you don't watch the terrorists win)
+1 quarterback with crazy offensive numbers
-1 possibility of blowout
MCR 3 – (Jessica Simpson Sex Tape)

Sun Bowl
Oregon St (8-4) vs. (20) Pittsburgh (9-3)
2:00 PM – ESPN
A word from our sponsor:

Hi! Thanks for watching.

On the field: Both teams were a heartbeat away from BCS bowls but instead end up here. Pittsburgh's only win of note: South Florida, Oregon State's win of note: USC. Just sayin'. Oregon State is coming into this game with one arm tied behind it's back as their best running back Jacquizz Rodgers and one of their best wide receivers, brother James Rodgers are out due to injury. That means quarterback Lyle Moevao will have to be special if the Beavers are going to win. Oregon State will have to neutralize talented Pittsburgh running back LeSean McCoy if they want to have a chance to win.
+1 possibility of pure Schadenfreude (face it you'll tune in to watch Shittsburgh lose)
+1 solid running back vs. decent defense

-1 team with best player shelved due to injury
MCR 1 (Woman's Heart)

Gaylord Hotels Music City Bowl

(24) Boston College (9-4) vs. Vanderbilt (6-6)
3:30 PM – ESPN
A word from our sponsor: I'd give you a short write-up about the sponsors of this bowl but let this really annoying PDF do it for you. Anybody that uses PDF's for anything other than user's manuals should be shot.
On the field: Wow, if there was ever a "gouge your eyes out with a spork" bowl game this would be it. Boston College has a quarterback (Chris Crane) that threw for 1721 yards which is a plus. Unfortuneatly, he's out because of a fractured collarbone so redshirt freshman Dominique Davis will make his third career start. There's not a 1,000 yard passer or receiver or a 1,000 yard back in this game. BC is 63rd in the nation in rushing and that's the BEST offensive statistic between these two teams. First one to 6 wins. Just skip this one unless you are really bored.
-1 two terrible offenses
-1 best offensive player out

MCR 0 (Rosie O'Donnell Talk Show)

Insight Bowl
(7-5) vs. Minnesota (7-5)
6:00 PM – NFL Network
A word from our sponsor: Honestly, I read the entire corporate introduction and I still have no freakin' clue what Insight does.

Insight is a technology solutions provider serving global and local clients in 170 countries… In addition, we offer a comprehensive portfolio which also includes hardware and value added services for our clients in North America and the U.K. We are aggressively expanding our global capabilities by introducing new offerings, including hardware and services, to meet emerging needs for our clients worldwide.

That, my friends, is some serious corporate bullshit. Anytime you have the terms "value added" and "emerging needs" in a statement you can bet it was written by some piss-ant middle manger with a Masters in business.
On the field: Both teams have four-game losing streaks to end the season. The difference is Kansas managed to knock off Missouri while Minnesota was getting pummeled by Iowa 55-0. The combination of quarterback Todd Reesing (3575 yards 28 TD's) and Dezmon Briscoe (1206 yards 12 TD's) will probably be too much for the Gophers to handle. Minnesota relied on turnovers for their defense; as long as Kansas holds onto the ball they should win. Kansas is better in every major offensive category and they are 7th in the nation in passing. Minnesota is 91st in totally yards while Kansas is 23rd. This one doesn't look good for the Big Ten.
+1 Big Ten team
+1 kick-ass offense

-1 possibility of blowout
MCR 1 (Woman's Heart)

Chick-Fil-A Bowl
LSU (7-5) vs. (14) Georgia Tech (9-3)
7:30 PM – ESPN
A word from our sponsor: This bowl was once the Peach Bowl but is now named after really shitty fast-food deep fried chicken. They should have kept it the Peach Bowl.
On the field: This is the battle of two teams with something to prove. Georgia Tech is ranked 14th and wants to prove that ranking isn't a fluke. As for the Tigers, has there been a bigger disappointment this season? Oh right, sorry Georgia fans. LSU is one year removed from the national championship but has five losses and is unranked. Georgia Tech isn't going to fool anyone they are 117th passing and 3rd rushing – they're going to run no matter what. Tech running back Jonathan Dwyer rushed for over 1300 yards with an impressive 7.0 yard average. LSU, on the other hand, is a little more balanced with quarterback Jarrett Lee throwing for 1873 yards and 13 TD's and running back Charles Scott rushing for 1109 yards and 15 touchdowns. First year Tech coach Paul Johnson likes to spread things out to run and has Yellow Jackets fans wanting more. Georgia Tech lost five or more games in seven straight seasons before Johnson's arrival.
+1 team that turned it around quickly
+1 good rushing attack
+1 Schadenfreude (chance to see last year's champ end up 7-6)
-1 possibility of blowout
MCR 2 (Microwave Dinner)

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