Monday, June 22, 2009

What, there are no fat chicks in Iowa?

Iowa offensive tackle Kyle Calloway will be suspended for a game and complete community service after being arrested this weekend for operating a vehicle while intoxicated. Pretty standard stupid college kid stuff, I mean his BAC was a pedestrian .106 which was probably 4 beers for a man of his stature but what makes this newsworthy is this:

Calloway was arrested after officers stopped him while he was driving a moped into a barricaded area.

An offensive lineman… on a moped… gratuitous pic in 3…2…1…

Good God man, a moped? Forget the DUI, Mr. Calloway should be rung up on felony charges of getting caught riding a freakin' moped! You know the rules, there are two things that are fun to ride but you wouldn't want your friends to catch you on them: mopeds and fat chicks. Perhaps Kyle should have opted for the latter Saturday night.

"I was very disappointed to learn of Kyle's poor judgment," [Iowa coach Kirk] Ferentz said in a statement.

We're all disappointed in Kyle's judgment Kirk, and it has nothing to do with drinking and driving.

Ed. Note: I should have guessed these guys would beat me to the punch and I should have guessed that they would also take the first google result for “fat guy on a moped.” Great, now they think I stole from them and that means drunken, expletive filled e-mails from Hawkeye State or OPS.