Thursday, July 20, 2006

Season Preview: Notre Dame

Last Season: The Bandwagoneers were 9-3 last season winning the Independent Championship and went on to the Fiesta Bowl, only to loose to THE ohio state. Impressive for first year coach and offensive guru Charlie Weis.

Outlook: AP writers are already masturbating to pictures of Charlie Weis and the thought of 2006. Rumor has it that reporters around the nation including some from “The Worldwide Leader in Sports”, ABC, NBC, etc. are starting a grassroots campaign to rename the Heisman trophy to the Brady Quinn Trophy; given to the top offensive player coached by Charlie Weis. Anything less the a national championship will cause rumblings of cataclysmic proportions with biblical pestilence ascending from high above, the graves will open and the four horsemen (not the biblical ones) will collide with the earth and change life as we know it.

Returning starters: 7
Key Losses:
WR Maurice Stovall (1,149 yards, 11 TDs)
TE Anthony Fasano (45 rec, 564 yards 2 TDs)
Dan Stevenson and Mark LeVoir (right side of offensive line)

Key Returnees:
As if this is necessary….
QB Brady Quinn (3,919 yards and 32 TD)
RB Darius Walker(1,196 yds, 9 TD, 351 yds, 2 TD)
All-America senior WR Jeff Samardzija (1,249 yards, 15 TDs)
WR Rhema McKnight – led the Irish in receptions in 2003 and 2004 before suffering a season-ending knee injury in ’05 – will be key to accompany Samardzija
Left side of offensive line – Harris, Morton, and Santucci

Returning starters: 9
Key Losses:
Hoyte and Mays – veteran LB’s

Key Returnees:
Pretty much everyone else.
FS Tom Zbikowski, hard-hitting part-time amateur boxer (5 ints)
DE Victor Abiamiri, (48 tackles, 8 sacks, 15 TFL)
DT Derek Landri, (43 tackles, 3 sacks, 8 TFL)

Game Outlook: Although everyone (by everyone I mean media) wants to hype this game up, and the fan reaction is enormous considering the ticket sales, this game doesn’t have the earth-shattering outcome as some may believe. If PSU wins, Notre Dame has a lofty preseason ranking and plenty of big name games left to make it to the title game at the end of the year. If Notre Dame wins, the Nits still have the Big Ten season to go and a lot to look forward to. But is it important for both teams? Of course! What does man’s man and victim of PSU male fan's nonsexual crush, superstar Paul Posluszny have to say about the game? “"I hope they're No. 1," he said. "We'll have the opportunity to play the best team in the nation at their place -- what a great opportunity for us to get a big win and come back to State College. To be the best, you've got to beat the best." Notre Dame is expected to win; that’s the price you pay for a likely top 5 ranking, and the Nits have little to lose. Just like last year, Penn State starts off with little national recognition and a win could thrust them right back into college football consciousness. Batten down the hatches… it’s going to be a fun game.


didonna said...

I will be attending the ND/Penn State game. My wife is an ND alum but I am Purdue alum and will be cheering for the Nittany Lions. Will let you know if I get beaten up over it.

Galen said...

Outside of the defenseless beating you may take from your significant other (we've been there) I doubt you will have to worry about ND fans beating you up... now dancing… that’s a different story, but fisticuffs, we doubt.