Thursday, August 27, 2009

Blog Chips: The beer edition

Talking about beer is strange for TNL I know, but hey… I'm a creature of habit.

Big do-ins in tailgating
The biggest non-news news feature of the day: Paternovillians get to recharge their laptops.
This football season, campers will no longer have to trek to the Intramural Building or Findlay Commons to charge electronics. For the first time in the program's five-year history, Paternoville campers will have access to electrical outlets located on site at Gate A. ...the PCC is limiting use of the outlets for students to charge mattress pumps and computers only. Cohen said an occasional cell phone could be charged. Cohen, along with the other heads of Paternoville security, has the power to turn off the outlets if they are being misused.

Who's got odds on the first rain soaked Margarita blender incident that shuts the whole thing down? Anyone? An "occasional" cell phone charging is like an "occasional" beer to college students.

Speaking of beer…

Penn State officially bands the lowly peasants from drinking their common swill.
Penn State announced a new tailgating policy Monday that bans glass bottles from its grass parking lots, calling it a safety issue for children, students and animals. Even pouring the contents of a bottle into a cup won't please the police. Bottles won't be allowed anywhere in the grass lots, even if they're empty and in a recycling bag.
Yeah, so no more Jägermeister, or vodka people! We're only thinking of the children here. Oh the children in the concrete upitty parking lots?! Fuck them.
Those who tailgate on concrete will still be able to drink from glass -- the rule applies only to the grass lots.
Seriously, could they be any more transparent? The concrete parking lots (I've tailgated there many, many times thanks to my company) are full of high-priced, wine & cheese tailgate types and well… money talks so let's not piss them off but for the common folks: piss off.

Look I think this is a great idea, even though I've brought bottled beer to tailgates before (I'm one of the responsible ones that takes care of my trash) but you can't make different rules for different people, it's either a rule for everyone or it's not a rule at all. Letting come-late-and-tailgate-a-half-hour-before-kickoff-with-my-bottle-of-expensive-wine Harry has to follow the same rules as six-pack-Joe in lot 13. It's bullshit to do otherwise.

And speaking of bullshit…

Through the ever "effervescent" Black Heart Gold Pantaloons, Bud Light has started a "fan can" campaign.

The Bud Light promotion, which involves 27 different color combinations, started rolling out this month. Purple-and-gold cans are being sold near the campus of Louisiana State University, and red-and-gold containers near Iowa State University.

"Show your true colors with Bud Light," the company says, according to copies of internal marketing materials obtained by colleges. "This year, only Bud Light is delivering superior drinkability in 12-ounce cans that were made for gameday."

Basically, Bud Light changed the color of their two-toned cans to match the local college football team's colors and distributed them regionally. So if you're heading to the game and stop by W.R. Hickey you can pick up a case of (remember people cans only no bottles unless you give a lot of money to PSU) Bud Light in navy blue and white. *standing applause to the Belgium based InBev* I'm seriously impressed that I didn't think of this before, what a simple but effective way to get people to drink your beer. Impressive gentlemen and ladies. Of course I had to see this for myself so I ran into my favorite local distributor rep (or as I call him my pusher) the other day and sure enough he had the Penn State colored cans. Beautiful, but get yours while you can because they are truly evil.

Lisa Powers, Penn State's director of public information, said the school is a member of the Collegiate Licensing Co., and Penn State asked it to protest Budweiser's marketing for the school. Anheuser-Busch InBev's problems don't stop there. The Federal Trade Commission has discussed the issue with the brewer, the agency said. Regulators are concerned that cans will be marketed to fans under the legal drinking age of 21, said Janet Evans, a senior attorney at the FTC responsible for alcohol marketing issues.

Anheuser-Busch said if any of schools ask, they will pull the cans from local beer distributers and it looks like that will be the case for Penn State.

Yes, when I was 19 the color of a fucking can of beer got me to drink it. It wasn't the feeling of euphoria that pulled me in, no it was the color of the can. Thank you Lisa Powers for saving our children, we can all go to sleep at night knowing no one under the age of 21 will be drinking this weekend because the color of the Bud Light cans will not be the same as Penn State. Way to go girl!

Now excuse me while I try to find a bottle of Vodka in a gallon plastic container.


Anonymous said...

The Federal Trade Commission has discussed the issue with the brewer, the agency said. Regulators are concerned that cans will be marketed to fans under the legal drinking age of 21, said Janet Evans, a senior attorney at the FTC responsible for alcohol marketing issues.

If they were serious about not marketing to underage fans then shouldn't the NCAA ban beer commercials during games? Oh wait, that would cost the schools money in the long run so we can't do that.

Galen said...


Yeah, but beer commercials aren't aimed at underage fans!?!? No that would be Bud Light Lime. Or as Stephen Colbert would say "It's like drinking a Bud Light downwind of an artificial flavor factory."