Monday, June 15, 2009

Obama to bail out Detroit again

President Obama announced Sunday that he will bail out another failing Detroit business: the Red Wings. "It's apparent with the Detroit Red Wings play in Game 7 of the Stanley Cup Finals that they need help from this administration," Obama said. "We have to be proactive, we can't wait for things to spiral out of control." Detroit lost Game 7 of the Stanley Cup Finals on their home ice in front of throngs of disappointed fans.

General manager Ken Holland was thankful for any help he could get. "Let's face it," Holland said, "we're not the team we once were, Pittsburgh is younger and more financially sound." Ironically, it was Pittsburgh that almost lost its franchise a few years back but with young stars like Sidney Crosby and Evgeni Malkin the Penguins are a team on the rise. "We only have ourselves to blame," a humbled Holland said, "bad deals have left us in this position and the only way out is help from the government." Details of the deal have yet to be finalized but one of the major points of the agreement is naming rights. "The Hockeytown brand will now reside in Pittsburgh," Obama said "we can't honestly call a team that loses game 7 on home Ice Hockeytown." Philadelphia Flyers officials could not be reached for comment but it's certain that Pittsburgh's in-state little brother won't be happy with the news of the new Hockeytown.

5 comments:

ReadingRambler said...

WOOOO WOOOOOOOOO

Nick said...

Tomorrow's headline: The Nittany Line burned to the ground. Officials say there are too many suspects, "Frankly they made so many enemies, the true culprit unlikely to be caught."

jd said...

the pittsburgh penguins released a statement today that gary bettman and the nhl officiating would be added to the team listing that is to be engraved on the cup.

as per bettman's wishes, his name will be placed under crosby's, with a cute little heart between their names.

nah, seriously, congratulations on the stanley cup victory. winning game 7 at that tough a venue shows balls.

i still hate crosby, tho'.

Galen said...

jd,
Lots of people hate Crosby, that's why we Pens fan love him even more.

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