Prestige rankings: brought to you by the BCS computers

ESPN has finished out their "Prestige Rankings" which was such an incoherent attempt to rank the best college football teams of all-time that I swear the BCS computers were used. Oh by the way, by "all-time" I mean an arbitrary 1936. The reason they used 1936 is because that's when the AP poll first appeared. No, I'm not sure what that has anything to do with but hey, it's ESPN all we can do at this point is pat the little guys on the back and hope they don't drool on themselves.

Penn State finished 11^th and here's their little blurb and the 10 that finished ahead of them (but blurbless, if you want to see them look here and here):
1. Oklahoma Sooners
2. USC Trojans
3. Ohio State Buckeyes
4. Notre Dame Fighting Irish
5. Nebraska Cornhuskers
6. Alabama Crimson Tide
7. Texas Longhorns
8. Michigan Wolverines
9. Florida State Seminoles
10. Miami Hurricanes
11. Penn State Nittany Lions
Total points: 1,088
Positives: Penn State's two national championships were won in the 1980s ('82, '86). The Nittany Lions' 26 bowl wins are tied with USC for the second most overall, trailing only Alabama (31). RB John Cappelletti won the Heisman Trophy in 1973. The program has never been put on probation by the NCAA. Going 11-2 while claiming its third Big Ten title in 2008 catapulted PSU past Tennessee into 11th in our rankings.
Negatives: When you consider that Penn State has had six undefeated seasons, it's hard to believe the Nittany Lions have won it all only twice. Although Penn State was a highly regarded independent program in the early years of our study, it found itself ranked only 51st as of 1958. Four losing seasons between 2000 and 2004 also helped hold the Nittany Lions back some. They rank 18th in the BCS era.
Through the decades: Through 1958: 51st 1968: 31st 1978: 11th 1988: 9th 1998: 9th
Did you know? Among the cities where the top 20 schools in the Prestige Rankings are located, State College receives the most annual average snowfall (46 inches).

About Penn State: Let me start off with this little nugget:

Negatives: When you consider that Penn State has had six undefeated seasons, it's hard to believe the Nittany Lions have won it all only twice.

Let me just say this to ESPN and everyone else that works in the main-stream press: FUCK YOU!! Fuck you and the horse you rode in on!! HARD TO BELIEVE!! You assholes DID IT TO US!! HARD TO BELIEVE!?!? YOU AND YOU'RE ILK ARE RESPONSIBLE FOR THIS!! Don't you EVER sit there and act like its some kind of mystery Paterno has four undefeated seasons and no national championships. Don't throw your hands in the air in amazement when you look at the back-to-back undefeated seasons in '68 and '69 with no championship, it's your god-damned fault, you guys WANT IT THIS way, that's why everyone voted against Penn State in 1994, even though they blew through the Big Ten and then won the overhyped "Granddaddy of them all" by the very margin of victory they were supposed to win by. If a reporter from ESPN said that to me in a bar I smash his face in with a bar stool.

Ok, I'm calm now.

About the others: Looking at the teams ahead of Penn State, few can argue with Oklahoma, Alabama, or Nebraska but I have a big beef with Miami and Florida State. While Paterno was going undefeated (and uncrowned) in '73, Miami was 5-6 and Florida State didn't win a game. In the decade of the 70's Miami only had two winning seasons and Florida State only had six. Oh, Paterno had a record of 96-22 in that decade with and undefeated (AND UNCROWNED) season, three 11-win seasons and two 10-win seasons. Yes Miami had a great decade of the 80's, I agree. Oh, damn, I forgot to mention that Penn State had two national titles in that decade one against those same Hurricanes. Sure Florida State ruled in the late 80's and 90's and it sucks that they went undefeated in 1994 but weren't awarded the national title. Oh, wait that was Penn State, God I need to stop drinking so much. While it's true that Bobby Bowden's teams in the late 80's and all through the 90's year in and year out had the most talented teams he seldom cashed in winning only two national titles in that timeframe. Also, here's an interesting note, Florida State didn't start football until 1947. You're telling me that a team that lost a decade of football in a logical system of accrued points somehow comes out on top of another team that has had more wins and a decade head start? Sorry, that system is really flawed, but I guess ESPN got what they wanted, dumb bloggers like me to stir up discussion. Damn I'm stupid.