This week's Big Ten Bloggers Roundtable comes courtesy of Beauford Bixel (please God let that be his real name and not a blogging pseudonym) from the sanctimonious blog The Only Game That Matters. Actually they aren't smug at all it's just really late and I felt like using a big word to make myself feel better. Anywho… in keeping with the long standing Big Ten Bloggers tradition of being totally insane and barely coherent, B-squared has given us the answers to this week's Roundtable and would like us to come up with the questions. If you haven't guessed by now B2 has some sort of unhealthy obsession with Jeopardy and ostensibly (ha, two big words in one paragraph I'm on fire) Alex Trebek (half naked no less). So let's launch this lead Zeppelin and watch the carnage.
fully clothed and Somewhat Crazed Alex Trebek: Welcome everyone to this week's version of the Big Ten Bloggers Roundtable I'm your host ALEX TREBEK.
Me: Thanks for doing this and thanks for keeping your clothes on Alex.
SCAT: Don't thank me you have me here against my will.
Me: No we don't.
SCAT: Then what are these ball clamps for?
Me: You brought them yourself.
SCAT: First answer… and I'll remind our contestants to only answer in the form of a question.
Me: There aren't contestants Alex it's just me.
SCAT: the first answer is: JAY PATERNO AND THE SPREAD HD.
Me: What coach named his offense from a disease he caught from a Philippino Hooker?
SCAT: correct for 100 points.
Me: there are no points Alex I'm the only one you're talking to.
SCAT: Under the category "Famous Joe's" for 500 points.
Me: Alex there are no categories and there are no poi..
SCAT: the answer is: JOE TILLER'S MUSTACHE
Me: What object can only be trimmed by a diamond coated End Mill?
SCAT: Oh, I'm sorry we were looking for a 70's porn reference... a 70's… porn… reference.
SCAT: Under the category "People Eaters" for 300.
Me: Alex, there are no…
SCAT: the answer is: THE COLOR PURPLE
Me: ah… what is the name of Keanu Reeves emo band?
SCAT: Correct. We also would have accepted 'What do Pat Fitzgerald and Prince have in common?'
SCAT: Next answer: BRAINS
Me: What is the last act of a desperate man?
SCAT: Ahhh… I see you remembered that nonsensical answers are worth double in this round, you are correct.
Me: there are no rounds…
SCAT: Let's take a moment to look at the scores… it appears Greg is winning with a score of 625.
Me: it's Galen and there aren't points and if there were I think I'd have like 900…
SCAT: Under the category 'fictitious foes'
Me: there aren't… never mind.
SCAT: the answer is: HAWKEYE STATE
Me: What drunken condition causes delusions of grandeur, strong feelings of octogenarian homosexuality and an unhealthy fixation with Haden Fry?
SCAT: Correct for 225.3 points.
Me: Aren't the points a little more rounded then
SCAT: next answer: RUDY
Me: What fictitious cartoon character also played for a once storied football program?
SCAT: Correct, the real Rudy only exists in the minds brainwashed Notre Dame Fans.
Me: God I hope this is about over.
SCAT: I'm sorry you must phrase that in the form of a question.
SCAT: the answer is: KNEE LIGAMENTS
Me: What useless part of the body can explode at any time for no apparent reason?
SCAT: I think you have that mixed up with your appendix.
Me: no, I meant what I said.
SCAT: Judges… Correct.
SCAT: Now for the Speed round.
Me: there's no speed round on Jeop…
SCAT: the answers are: TERRELL PRYOR, MARK MAY AND RICH ROD
Me: What three names can be used in a sentence to describe Michigan fans?
SCAT: that's correct and for bonus points what is that sentence?
Me: Pryor to May Michigan fans thought they had a good coach but all they got was the rod.
SCAT: Close enough.
Me: Are we done?
SCAT: I see you phased that in a form of a question and the answer is yes we are done.
Me: I'm getting drunk.
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