Larry Johnson Knows Crack

Pardon me, in matters of utmost importance, style, not sincerity, is the vital thing. Perchance did I mention I roll with Roc-a-fella?

No, really, that’s his career advice for sports writers. Little short this month? Make ends meet by dealing crack. Seriously, here was the exchange between Larry Johnson and a fawning Chris Mottram, of the Sporting News, discussing LJ’s watch:

CM: Seriously, man, how much was that watch?
LJ: About 300?
CM: Dollars?
LJ: Thousand. They only made three of them in the world.
CM: $300,000? I’d have to spend 10 years worth of pay to buy that.
LJ: Or you could deal crack and get it in three weeks.

We get it, you’re badass. You’re from the hard streets of State College, represent. You know truth, you’re keepin’ it real. Are you kidding me? This guy knows as much about slingin’ rock as I do about nuclear physics. The closest he’s ever come to the streets is watching The Wire and listening to Notorious B.I.G. (H/T: Deadspin)

Little Larry takes notes.