Monday, August 21, 2006

Ryan Leaf to teach college QB’s…

*insert joke here* Yes, that Ryan Leaf. After one of the most disappointing professional careers in NFL history, Leaf tried his hand at financial consulting in the San Diego area, and handled that about as well as an interview with a sports reporter. Now Leaf is the Quarterbacks coach for Division II West Texas A&M, although he’s not getting paid to do it (sanity prevails). After the man-sized ego pounding Leaf took from the NFL, Ryan suddenly longed for college football once again and contacted an old coach who put in a good word at West Texas A&M and there you have it, the new QB coach. What did starting QB Dalton Bell think when he got the news? "Never in a thousand years would I have thought he'd be my quarterbacks coach," he thought, "Man, maybe this guy could be a jerk." "But," Bell said, "he's a really good guy." Uh – huh, just give it some time. What fantastic skills could Leaf teach these young men?

-How to make a fantastic first impression by going 1-of-15 with three fumbles and two interceptions in only your third game
-Follow that up with an profanity packed tirade about your performance
-Follow that profanity packed tirade with a profanity packed tirade to a reporter writing about your tirade the day before. But be sure a camera is around to document your complete fall into assdom so it can be played any time the term "biggest draft bust" is ever used in a sports show.
-The proper way to “handle” a heckling fan.
-Manage to simultaneously piss off coaches, teammates, reporters, fans and probably a couple mascots so you have absolutely no friends on your side.

"It's so over. I don't even think about it at all. Everybody's got some things that have happened bad in their past. Mine was just very public," Leaf says. Sure we’ve all had some “bad” things happen in life but most of us have handled it without being a complete jackass when things break down, and for those of us that haven’t, none have reached that level on the prick-ter scale.

Yeah, this is gonna work


mobius said...

You think that's funny? Check this out...

I don't know what's funnier - the fact that people are PAYING Chris Rix to teach their children how to lock onto receivers and throw exclusively off their back foot, or the creepy picture of Dallas Raines, 'award-winning' meteorologist.

Galen said...

That's good stuff, do you think Rix and Leaf could combine efforts? Rix could throw of his back foot and Leaf could yell profanities at him for doing so.