Friday, July 31, 2009

Obama’s health care plan: beer

That's his racial health care plan. If you've been in a cave with your eyes closed and your fingers in your ears follow that link and read about the racial tension between professor Gates and police Sgt. Crowley. Quite frankly I don't care and you know TNL's long standing tradition about Politics and Religion: whether it's in a bar or on a blog, don't discuss either. Unless that's what your blog is about and then by all means argue away like the retards you are.

While we're not here to discuss the politics of this story we are here to discuss something that is near and dear to our hearts at TNL: beer. To diffuse the situation President Obama invited Gates and Crowley to the White House Rose Garden to discuss the whole situation over a Beer. TNL vastly approves of this conciliation technique and we feel it should be used in all discussions, arguments, board meetings, senate hearings, or hostage negations. Pretty much any situation can be smoothed over with beer, it's the solution to* all of life's problems. Now the outcome of negations is really of no concern, what we are really interested is this picture that's worth a thousand words:

There's nothing like the president of the most powerful nation in the world drinkin' a cold one. While the outcome of the meeting doesn't intrigue us there is something that is of dire concern: what beer did they choose. A beer says a LOT about a man and they didn't disappoint.

Gates and Crowley, dressed in dark suits, had Sam Adams Light and Blue Moon, respectively, while Obama, in rolled-up shirt sleeves, had a Bud Light.

As an avid Bud Light** drinker, I endorse the president's choice especially the message the "light" beer sends to the public considering we're in the middle of accepting his Health Care plan. Nothing says I'm trying to watch my waist (and indirectly my health) like a light beer. Ditto to Mr. Gates for choosing a light albeit one with more taste and speaking of taste, I can't help but applaud Mr. Crowley's choice of Blue Moon – an excellent beer. There is however, no way to tell if Crowley used an orange wedge or not, probably not, since he doesn't want to come off too girly, he is a police sergeant, but we wouldn't hold it against him just the same. While the President's choice of beer gives hope for the nation there's another, hidden member of the "Beer Summit" that scares the Hell out of us.

Biden joined them for a non-alcoholic Buckler beer.

Christ Biden, what the Hell!? Can you be any more of a pussy? It gives me great pause to know that the guy that is one sudden heart attack away from running this country drinks non-alcoholic beer. I'd have more respect if he drank a fucking coke for crying out loud. Whatever happens in the next four years we must protect Obama's life at all costs, we don't want Near Beer Biden running the country.

*and a great man once said the '…and the cause of'

**not by choice by caloric necessity