Wednesday, November 26, 2008

Former Foes: the requisite Notre Dame bashing edition

Time, once again, for our weekly look back at Penn State's past competition for one final time. Last time we got to savor a horrific loss by Michigan this time around may even be better thanks in no small part to Syracuse. So how did our former foes do?

Coastal Carolina (6-6)

The chicken failed to score a single point in their 24-0 season finale loss to in-state rival Charleston Southern. The Chanticleers out gained Charleston and held the ball for 20 minutes in a scoreless first half missing two field goals. Charleston Southern scored on the first drive of the second half and never looked back. Coastal threw 4 interceptions and fumbled the ball 3 times losing all 3. When you have 7 turnovers you probably aren't going to win.

Oregon State (8-3)

Against Arizona, Oregon State took over at their own 20 with no timeouts left and trailing 17-16 with 1:19 to play. Backup quarterback Sean Canfield hit Sammie Stroughter for a 47-yard gain on the third play of the drive to put the Beavers at the Arizona 7. Kicker Justin Kahut then hit a 24-yard field goal to win the game and put Oregon State within one win of the Rose Bowl and a rematch against Penn State. OSU lost pint-sized running back Jacquizz Rodgers to a shoulder injury on their second possession and it appears he'll be out for their finale against Oregon.
Next up: Oregon for the Pac-10 title.

Syracuse (2-7) (3-6)

The Orange trailed the entire game but scored with 42 seconds left to take a 24-23 lead on the road against… wait for it… Notre Dame. Offensive genius Chuck Weis could not muster more than 41 yards on the ground against a team that ranks 102 nationally against the run. Oh he tried… he tried like hell… he tried 28 times, and for those keeping score at home that's 1.5 yards per rush. Syracuse stacked the line and made golden boy and emu lookalike Jimmy Clausen beat them and he couldn't. I guess Jimmy will just have to take satisfaction in his two Heismans Heisman big signing bonus NFL contract job at Stuckey's. Schadenfreude cannot begin to describe this game. Notre Dame was a 19 ½ point favorite. It was at South Bend. The Orange trailed 23-10 in the fourth quarter before rallying. The Irish came away with just six points after starting four times inside the Syracuse 23-yard line, including three times in the third quarter when they settled for a field goal. With 7 seconds left, the Irish could have run one last play before attempting a field goal, but Weis opted to go for a 53-yard kick by Brandon Walker, whose career long is 48. Not surprisingly he missed short, nice call fat boy. Now even the press, who seem to get a boner every time Notre Dame is even remotely mentioned, are starting to question Chuck Weis' coaching acumen. Note to the AP: we've been saying he's a fraud from the start, welcome to the club assholes. I'm sure though, this loss is somehow Tyrone Willingham's fault, right Notre Dame fans? For those of you that, like me, are sustained by Notre Dame's pain here are some things to make you thankful this Thanksgiving. Oh and did I mention Penn State beat Syracuse 55-13? Just sayin'.



...and finally irony at it's best (HT: BSD):


Next up: USC – good luck with that one Irish fans.

Temple (4-7)

QB Adam DiMichele threw for a school record six touchdowns and passed for a career-high 370 yards in Temple's 55-52 shootout win over Eastern Michigan. There were 49 points scored in the fourth quarter alone and almost 1000 yards of total offense. WR Bruce Francis caught 9 of DiMichele's 21 completions for 125 yards and a school record 4 touchdowns. The Owls could close out the 2008 season with the most wins since 1990 as they host Akron on Friday.

Next Up: Akron

Illinois (5-7)

Juice Williams was sacked five times as Northwestern used a big fourth quarter punt return to ice the game. With Northwestern leading 16-10 in the fourth quarter, Brendan Smith broke off a punt return to the Illinois 20. Two plays later, Bachér hit Peterman for an 18-yard TD pass with 9:08 left. Illinois trailed at the half 13-0 and never had the lead. The loss ended any hope of a bowl game for Illinois.

Purdue (3-6)

In the battle of the Big Ten basement, Purdue sent Joe Tiller out on a high note whipping Indiana 62-10. The boilermakers jumped out to a 24-0 first quarter lead and never looked back. Purdue amassed 596 yards of offense with 479 of those through the air. QB Curtis Painter threw for 448 yards and 5 touchdowns as two Purdue wideouts hit the century mark (Keith Smith – 136, Desmond not so Tardy – 114). Purdue made no doubt about Tiller's swan song as the Boilermakers opened up with 10 (yes TEN) straight scoring drives.

"Does it get any better than this, I don't know? What a way of finishing the season and finishing a career," Tiller said. "They got me with the bath. My shorts are stuck to me right now, I actually need to go take a shower."

Yes, there's a fitting image to remember Joe Tiller by… his wet shorts. At any rate, good luck Joe catch a cutthroat trout for me.

Wisconsin (7-5)

We go from a team going out with a bang to a team going out with a dull thud. Wisconsin needed overtime and two missed extra-point attempts by Cal-Poly to beat the Football Championship Subdivision team. Cal Poly had a 29-21 lead with 4 minutes to play that would have been a two score lead had they not missed the extra point. Wisconsin drove 89 yards and scored on a P.J. Hill 3-yard touchdown run and then converted the two-point play to send it into overtime. Cal-Poly scored first but missed the extra point leaving the door open for Wisconsin and the walked right through it for the win. Suddenly that 7-5 record doesn't seem as bad as it once might have.

Michigan (3-9)

Ohio State broke open a 14-7 halftime lead scoring 28 unanswered points in the second half of their 42-7 assrape of the Wolverines. Michigan ends one of their worst seasons in school history with a terrible loss to their bitter rival for the fifth straight time. Terrelle Pryor threw two TD passes and Beanie Wells rushed for 134 yards and THE ohio state defense held Michigan to 198 total yards.

Next up: Self loathing and depression

Iowa (8-4)

Shonn Greene set Iowa's single-season rushing record with an exclamation point. Greene rushed for 144 yards and two touchdowns in the Hawkeye's 55-0 shutout of Minnesota. Ricky Stanzi passed for 255 yards and three touchdowns as Iowa exposed the fraud that is Minnesota. The Gophers were held to 134 yards of total offense and turned the ball over 3 times. If Greene isn't at least mentioned in Heisman conversations there's something wrong with the universe.


4 comments:

Jeff said...

Galen,

Your item on Notre Dame made my day! I wish my father-in-law was still alive to have read it as he thought even less of ND than me, or you.

drozz said...

i heard that after the syracuse game that clausen was encased in carbonite and given to weis as an early xmas gift.

which would really make for an awesome photoshop oppurtunity. just sayin'.

Galen said...

Jeff,

That loss made my year, I love it.

Drozz,

Clausen in carbonite... hmm... interesting idea.

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