Monday, September 24, 2007

That was fun

Folks if you're looking for meaningful commentary or play by play breakdown go here or here because right now I'm fucking pissed. Go ahead, pick a Penn State player to point the finger at (I suggest the middle finger) but I don't blame Morelli for the horribly overthrown ball that would have been an easy touchdown. I don't blame the offensive line for looking confused at times. No, the steaming pile of dogshit that is supposed to be the Penn State offense is brought to by Galen Hall and Jay Paterno. I've always been up in the air when it came down to Jay because I just didn't know what to think; well now I know – he's a moron. Jay, do us all a favor and walk to the nearest bridge and take a flying leap, and while you're at it take Austin Scott and his fumble per game with you.

It pains me to criticize the man that I'm named after but the offense scheme (if you can actually call that a scheme) was pathetic to new levels my friends. After the first two plays I should have just saved myself the aggravation, left the room, and went and played a nice game of Parcheesi. Every single football fan, including the retarded kid that lives down the street and eats paint chips for breakfast knew that Michigan was going to blitz and blitz often. Yet to our offensive brain trust it came as such a huge surprise. They're blitzing?!?! For real!!?! No shit!

What a fabulous script though to start the game out:

First play – smash the running back into the middle of the line for no gain.

Even better second play – smash the FUCKING fullback into the middle of the line! GENIUS! Now there's a play destined to go 80 yards if only we could get some blocking!

Third play – obligatory crappy throw in a hopeless 3rd and long situation.

Fourth play – Punt.

Awesomeness at levels I can't describe. But not to be outdone the Morelli fumble on the second possession shows the levels of ineptitude of this offensive coaching staff. Now knowing that Michigan is blitzing like mad (because it's such a surprise… duuuuhhhhh) does are staff call a play that gives Morelli extra protection and therefore time to throw – hell no 5 wides bitches… 5 fucking wides!! Gee, Morelli has no time and here comes the fumble. No excuse for that kind of play call at all… none. Terrible, horrible, craptacular.

How can half the coaching staff look like Jesus himself is making the calls and the other half look like a bunch of clowns making their first appearance at a three ringed circus?

You know that's Jay behind the wheel baby!

Look… Morelli is what he is; a scattershot quarterback that holds onto the ball too long but occasionally makes a great play. He's never going to carry this team to victory but that doesn't mean Penn State can't win with him. The coaching staff can't allow the team to get into a situation where Morelli is forced to win the game for them because he can't. But they don't have the ability to keep Penn State out of bad situations and any defense with a pulse is going to blitz Penn State and force Morelli to beat them and our coaching staff isn't smart enough to call plays to keep opposing defenses honest. You want to know why Michigan has beaten Penn State nine times in a row and will continue to beat Penn State until Joe Paterno retires? They let Penn State lose the game – it's that simple. Carr plays ultraconservative offense, keeps the game close and waits for the Penn State offense to implode and implode they do. Joe Paterno will never beat Michigan again, not unless he guts the offensive coaching staff and brings in someone with half a brain but that ain't happening so get used to it.

The really sad thing about Saturday is that the better team lost. Michigan will lose 2 or 3 more games this year you can count on it. The better team lost but the better coaching staff won – let me say that again… the lame-duck coaching staff that will probably be gone by year's end out-coached a staff that has been together since the beginning of time. It's really sad.

Lastly, I didn't forget about personnel issues either. It was reported that Austin Scott did a fine job on the scout team while redshirting last year. Great, do something to help the team out and put him back there. Scott should not see the field ever again. Thanks for playing kid now go back home and polish all your high school trophies and read all your press clippings. You're an incredible liability and you're going to cost Penn State a couple more games this year. Rodney Kinlaw isn't Barry Sanders but he holds onto the ball and runs decisively – two things Scott can't and won't do. Start Kinlaw now. I wouldn't even have Scott on the travel squad next week, bring along one of the young backs and get them game experience; Penn State will need it next year.

In closing, the rest of the year really doesn't mean shit for Penn State – they could win out or lose 5 or 6 more but it's pretty meaningless at this point. I'm not stupid enough to believe this team is a championship caliber football team but they should have been good enough to win the Big Ten outright, especially in a year where the league is down and down big. Now everything is wide open and with this coaching staff the only game left on the schedule that looks like an automatic win is Temple. Paterno wanted to stick around for one more championship team… well that ain't happening unless he wants to coach until he's 100.


Mike said...

You let Morelli off WAY too easy - his fumble was freshman-caliber football. Mallett behind our line would have won this game. That's partly the fault of coaching, of course, since Morelli didn't develop, but we also need to face the facts: those (like me) who basically labelled him a long time ago as a rocket-armed drooling idiot were right, and we'd better come up with plans to win with the rest of the guys. Tennesee was an outlier (and, honestly, not a great day anyways), not the new rule.

Galen said...

I'm not sure what Morelli was supposed to do on that fumble, he hiked the ball and there was a guy in his face. Now later he held on way too long but as for the fumble it was piss poor coaching and shitty playcalling. Call Anthony what you want but Jay's fingerprints are all over this disaster.

Mike said...

What he was supposed to do on the fumble was not hold the ball out there like a loaf of bread. Jebus. Even with good coaching, broken plays happen, and a senior is supposed to know not to run around with the ball exposed like that in a collapsing pocket at his own 10 yard line.

Ask yourself: What would have John Shaffer have done? IE, noodle-armed-but-mentally-there quarterback? Thrown it away? Maybe. Run out of bounds? Sure. Fall down and protect the ball? OK. Many options better than "here you go, have seven points".

Much worse than what Austin Scott did, and I don't think he should see the field again except in mop-up duty.

billybob said...


Psych 101 time here. We want to lose to M. How else to explain the key turnovers at the worst possible spots and times in the game? Game just started and we're on our own 10? Guess I'll just wave this ball around out here while the pocket collapses. Offense finally driving well and in M's redzone? Guess that featherduster brush pops it out. Secretly, in their heart of hearts, they must want to lose. I say this half tongue in cheek, but I really do believe on some level that this team has officially got a mental block regarding M that prevents them from believing they can win.

What to do? Fire Jay (never happen), bench Scott & Morelli, and start whoever of Clark and Devlin had the higher SAT score.

Galen said...

I'll give you that he should have secured the ball more, you're right about that but he had no chance to run or throw it away. He should have taken the sack and lived to fight another down.

Mike said...

"but he had no chance to run or throw it away"

Run, no. Throw it away? He has the rocket-arm, remember? Throw it fifty yards downfield. Problem solved.

Galen said...


I would MUCH rather he take the sack instead of heaving a prayer downfield that could turn into a
-intentional grounding call
-incomplete pass
out of those three options only 1 is good, take the sack in that instance.