Wisconsin Review

** Warning – this post will generally be a bitch session about many things; some of which may actually pertain to the game **

How can one describe the Penn State – Wisconsin game? What one word could you possible come up with that accurately encapsulates the horrific effort put in by the Nittany Lions? I’m at a complete loss. This game sucked on so many levels that words can’t describe it. The offensive line is THE worst line in the Big Ten, and not by a small margin either, they have set new thresholds of ass suckiness. I could literally do a better job then some of them; all 5’9” of me. I’m serious about that, it’s that bad. Another week, another 4 man rush getting pressure on the quarterback. It just boggles the mind. When your line can’t block anything more menacing then a three legged puppy with a cold, your offense isn’t going anywhere.

But the shittacularness didn’t stop there, oh no, the football cosmos decided to dish out super sized portions of hellrific karma that day. Punts that bounced off blockers for turnovers, 4th and 1’s made by the very nose of the ball by the opposing team, and even Paterno getting knocked out of the game by his own Tight End; it was a very bad day indeed. Bret Bielema took advantage of the new retarded clock rules by intentionally running his kicking team offsides by 10 yards twice. This allowed Wisconsin to milk off the last seconds before the half without letting Penn State get a chance with the ball. Granted Penn State wasn’t going to do anything with the few seconds left but that doesn’t change the fact that this rule is the dumbest thing to come out of the NCAA since Michael Irvin. Now some Penn State fans are calling Bielema “bush league” or underhanded but I think he’s brilliant. He’s taking advantage of a stupid rule thought up by idiots, on a whim, to satisfy corporate sponsors. This is what happens when overpaid bureaucratic dipshits implement half assed rules without thinking of the consequences. Rest assured this won’t be the last time someone uses this little loophole to their advantage. I hope it happens at the end of a game that actually means something, like oh, the Ohio State - Michigan game; wouldn’t that cause a outcry of monumental proportions. The really sweet part of the whole ordeal was ESPN calling up Big Ten head of morons Dave Perry at halftime to ask about the loophole. Perry’s ignoramus response? Er, uh, we, uh discussed this in the ahh, offseason, and.. ah we thought, ah gotta go, got another call. I’m guessing at the actual response because ESPN reported a bunch of lip service that signified nothing. Side note: Penn State fans that think less of Bielema need to remember that he took a knee at the end of the game when he could have scored another touchdown. Fat bastard Charlie Weis would have been throwing the ball and then whining after the game about how his team isn’t getting enough respect from the pollsters.

Anybody remember the last time a lame rule screwed Penn State over? Remember the shitty crowd noise rule back in the 90’s? You remember that brilliant rule that punished the home team if the crowd was too fucking loud by charging the team a timeout. It screwed Penn State over in none other then a game against Miami when the student section was too loud and forced the officials to punish PSU. I’m tired of idiotic, half backed rules but I digress.

The coaches don’t get a pass on this stinkfest. Who the hell calls a sweep on forth and 1? Cardinal coaching sin numero uno: never ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever… ever call a sweep on 4th and 1; it always fails because the entire defense is swarming to the ball. Add to the mess that they ran to the side not occupied by their All-American tackle. Sometimes all you can do is shake your head in disbelief, that or yell obscenities at an inanimate TV set that can’t hear you (I chose the latter).

Now that I’ve vented, let me say congratulations to Paul Posluszny. Poz needed 8 tackles to take the lead in career tackles at Linebacker U, and he did it in the first half. Monumental amounts of praise must be heaped upon the very broad shoulders of Mr. Posluszny, he has had a remarkable career at Penn State and has done so in a very respectable way. If you want to know what makes Penn State football different and special look no further then Paul, he IS Penn State. He’s the very definition of the type of student athlete Penn State tries to bring into their system. Congrats Paul, it couldn’t have happened to a more stand up guy.

Speaking of defense, great job by the Nits, again. It’s amazing that Dan Connor can play a game with a broken hand without missing a beat yet Penn State’s offensive line can’t block a plastic shopping bag caught in the wind. Even when the special teams fumbled the ball to Wisconsin deep in PSU’s territory, the defense didn’t give up and held the Badgers to a field goal. I kept waiting for the Defense to tire and get run over but they never did. At this point the offense has done such a poor job of ball control that the defense could probably run several marathons in a row without tiring. When you hold the opposing team to 13 points and one touchdown while creating turnovers of your own you generally are going to win. That is if your offense is even remotely competent.

What more can be said, this team has officially underachieved and the season is pretty much a disappointment. Thank God Penn State gets one of the worst teams in Div I in Temple and then a home game against a Michigan State team that will just want to get the game over with so they can go home. I think I’ll go kill off some brain cells with beer now.