A Wolverine is…

We at TNL like to keep our readers informed, so we are introducing a new weekly look at some of the lesser known uses of the upcoming opponent’s mascot. We will attempt to enlighten as well as entertain as we bring you “A [insert mascot here] is...” With that we give you this week’s addition.

A Wolverine is…

...a member of the weasel family
The Wolverine is the largest species of the Mustelidae or weasel family [insert joke here]. Due to its fine pelt the Wolverine has been hunted to the point of endangerment, it has been recognized as such since 2003. It is a stocky and muscular omnivore with glossy brownish-black hair and stripes of light brown along the sides. The fur is long and dense and does not retain much water. This makes it very resistant to frost in the cold environment where wolverines live. A Wolverine male can weigh up to 50lbs and resembles a small bear with a long tail. It has also been known to give off a strong, unpleasant odor, giving rise to the use of the term "skunk bear" to describe the animal. Other mustelids include mink, badgers (Wisconsin must be proud to be the little cousin of Michigan), weasels, skunks, and martens. Even though nick-named the Wolverine State, they are seldom seen in Michigan.

… a kick-ass boot
Wolverine World Wide, Inc. founded in 1883, is headquartered in Rockford, Michigan. They are a large manufacturer and retailer of footwear and leather products. Wolverine’s brands include: Bates Uniform Footwear, Hush Puppies (First vended 1958), Hytest Safety Footwear, Merrell, Sebago, Wolverine Boots and Shoes, and Wolverine Leathers.

…a producer of non-ferrous products
Wolverine Tube, Inc. is a company now based in Alabama that started in Detroit, Michigan, providing its customers with copper and copper alloy tube, fabricated products, brazing alloys, fluxes and lead-free solder, as well as copper and copper alloy rod, bar and other products.

…a shitty superhero
Wolverine is a fictional Marvel Comics superhero and a member of several teams, including the X-Men and the New Avengers. Created by writer Len Wein and artist John Romita Sr. His super powers include keen senses and reflexes and a healing factor that allows him to recover from virtually any wound, thus allowing supersoldier program Weapon X to bond the unbreakable metal alloy adamantium to his skeleton, giving him razor-sharp retractable claws. That’s the extent of his powers, basically he’s devoid of any really cool powers like telekinesis or super strength, but if you beat the shit out of him he’ll recover quick.


…a high school militia in a shitty movie
Red Dawn is a 1984 film by John Milius about an invasion of the United States by the Soviet Union and Cuba, and the resulting guerrilla actions of a group of American high school students in the town of Calumet, Colorado. The unlikely band of teen-aged guerrillas call themselves the Wolverines after their school mascot. The film is somewhat of a cult classic staring a pre-Dirty Dancing Patrick Swayze, pre-Back to the Future Lea Thompson, and pre-Ginger Lynn, pre-Cocaine addict, pre-Heidi Fleiss MVP Charlie Sheen.

…a shitty progressive-metal band
Formed in 1995 by Marcus Losbjer and Stefan Zell, Wolverine Overdose is a Swedish group popular in Europe. Their website describes their early days from melodic deathmetal (is that possible) to now progressive-metal, albeit still melodic. After all, melody is an important part of music. No telling if they wear classic strips on their shirts or give off an unpleasant odor, but coming from Europe I would bet the later is quite probable.