Showing posts with label Give a Hoot Don't be a Dumbass. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Give a Hoot Don't be a Dumbass. Show all posts

Wednesday, August 05, 2009

The Doak Walker award hates Evan Royster

The Doak Walker award watch list was announced and our main man Evan Royster wasn't among the running backs being watched. Armando Allen of Notre Dame who had a whopping 585 yards last year with 3 touchdowns and one 100+ yard game is on the list and so are Daniel Herron of OSU (439 career yards – no games over the century mark), John Clay of Wisconsin (884 yards in 2008) and Michigan's Brandon Minor whose accumulated stats over three years (1,156 yards, 12 TD's) don't add up to Royster's stats from 2008 (1,236 yards, 12 TD's).

Adam Rittenberg of THE leader is shaking his head as much as you probably are right now.

That said, I've got a major beef with this list.

No Evan Royster? Are you kidding me?

I'm almost certain that this is an oversight, and I'll be checking in with the Doak Walker folks this morning to see what they say.

You go Adam! Don't take this crap sitting down.

While these awards are really meaningless in the grand scope of things, as far as Penn State is concerned, and Evan probably doesn't even give a damn, it's still disconcerting that the Big Ten's returning rushing leader isn't mentioned for a national award and three other Big Ten backs are. I could probably sift through the list and most of the backs mentioned would not have the stats that Evan did in 2008.

As far as 2009 is concerned with the loss of Penn State's top three wide receivers it's not a stretch of the imagination to predict even better numbers for Royster because Penn State's offense will most likely have to rely on him more. Even with three new starters, if Penn State's offensive line doesn't open the holes like it did last year Royster is still going to get more carries and Evan's always been one to make his own holes when needed. It just doesn't make a whole lot of sense.

Update: So Rittenberg got to the bottom and as it turns out it was PSU’s fault that Evan was not included on the preseason list.

The release date for the watch list was moved up three weeks this year, and Penn State didn't nominate Royster in time. Lockhart said an e-mail for nominations was sent to schools on July 2 and a call was placed to Penn State last week.

"Evan Royster is most definitely one of the most productive running backs returning to college this season, and we fully expect him to be an official candidate for the award," Lockhart wrote in an e-mail to "Evan not being on the preseason list in no way effects his chances of winning the Doak Walker Award, and since he was a 2008 semifinalist for the award we fully expect him to be in the running again this year. We will gladly add him once he is nominated. Universities are allowed to nominate candidates through October."

So yeah, no need for further alarm, back to work… nothing to see here.

Tuesday, May 05, 2009

Why can’t our football players keep from getting high?

You would think that after watching Maurice Evans completely annihilate his chances of an NFL career by smoking some weed his teammates would learn a lesson. Apparently not.

Penn State police searched an on-campus apartment of four football players for marijuana the night of last month's Blue-White spring football game, according to court records obtained Monday.

So who were the four players?

An application for search warrant identifies the apartment residents as Stephfon Green, Devon Still, Eric Latimore and Johnnie Troutman.

Yeah, kinda… sorta.. important. But wait there's still more. It was a police setup right? I mean they weren't doing anything to draw attention to themselves right?

According to the affidavit, police responded to a report of a loud party at Nittany Apartments. After arriving, police heard a fire alarm and ''detected a strong odor of burnt marijuana'' near the apartment, the affidavit states.After knocking on the door and receiving no response, police entered the apartment ''for health and safety reasons,'' the affidavit states.

Oh, so it was a loud party…. With FIRE ALARMS GOING OFF!!!! WTF?!? Who is so Goddamned stupid to sit around smoking pot while fire alarms are going off?!?! But the pot was well hidden you ask?

Upon entering, police observed marijuana ''in plain view in the kitchen,'' the affidavit states.

Just amazing. The affidavit does not say if any of the players were present but if they were there should be some fallout from this. Not only was it stupid to smoke pot when you have such a bright future but to do it in such a brazen way is completely unforgivable.

Thursday, March 05, 2009

Dallas Cowboys get Chemotherapy

"The Cancer" has been removed from Dallas.

The Dallas Cowboys have released controversial wide receiver Terrell Owens, sources told ESPN's Michael Smith late Wednesday.

Not only did Owens have relationship issues with quarterback Tony Romo and tight end Jason Witten, but the receiver consistently criticized offensive coordinator Jason Garrett's play calling and his offensive schemes to the point that sources have said Garrett did not believe they could coexist.

Philly learned the hard way and so did Dallas, who's next? Actually let's have a little fun; instead of having a poll on who will be T.O.'s next team let's vote on who's the most unlikely team, shall we? Your choices are San Francisco, Philadelphia, Miami (Parcells), or Kansas City (former Dallas OC Todd Haley).

Who is T.O.'s LEAST likely new team?
San Francisco
Kansas City free polls

Wednesday, March 04, 2009

More SEC fun from ESPN

Put your "way back" helmets on and remember back to August of last year when it was announced that ESPN had reached a 15-year (YIKES!!) agreement with the SEC for exclusive television rights to sporting events for the hugegantic sum of…

2 BILLION dollars!!!

Remember I told you this was a very very very bad thing for sports fans in general (ok, let's face it ESPN is already become a bad thing for sports fans but at least they used to show some objectivity). Well get ready because the spoon feeding is about to begin.

Alabama's annual spring game isn't just attracting huge crowds. Now the Crimson Tide's A-day game will have a national television audience. ESPN announced Tuesday that it will televise the game nationally on Saturday, April 18.

This is one of the most ill-conceived ideas out of all ill-conceived ideas; this gives bad ideas a bad name. Sure I'll watch the Blue/White game it's an excuse to tailgate ed.note- ok, it's an excuse to drink, no I really don't need an excuse but it makes me feel less of an alcoholic if others are drinking with me but if you are seriously considering watching another team's glorified scrimmage, one that isn't in your conference or on your schedule then you are:

A) Addicted to college football and need help; like real professional help

B) Bored out of your mind and are out of beer and all the stores are closed and all the bars are closed and those old prescription pain pills sitting in the back of your medicine cabinet look too scary for you anymore.

How many people outside of the state of Alabama are going to watch this thing, I mean really?? Come on, this is as transparent as Fox's "fair and unbalanced" approach to news; ESPN is plugging anything that slightly resembles the SEC. What's next a night out with Tim Tebow's aunt?

Announcer: This Wednesday see how Bingo is played with SEC speed… only on ESPN.

Friday, January 30, 2009

You got me out of bed for this: PSU finalizes its 2009 schedule

There's a reason I gave up my tickets last season and although I never saw one live game of Penn State's march to a Big Ten championship, I have no regrets. None. This season the administration has decided to further validate my misgivings about the horrible schedule as they have finalized this piece of shit:

2009 Penn State Football Schedule
Sept. 5 AKRON
Sept. 19 TEMPLE
Sept. 26 IOWA (1)
Oct. 3 at Illinois
Oct. 17 MINNESOTA (2)
Oct. 24 at Michigan
Oct. 31 at Northwestern
Nov. 21 at Michigan State
(1) All-University/Varsity "S" Day
(2) Homecoming

(emphasis on the "out of conference schedule" is mine) Can you say crap, crap and more crap? News flash for the powers that be: you may be selling tickets and making money but that ass-rape you received by the likes of USC will continue if you don't start scheduling somebody with a pulse. Here's how it's gonna go, let me break it down for ya one time: PSU will plow through the first three games like a bulldozer through a wall of pudding and then will hit Iowa and realize, probably far too late, that the cupcakes (wait… those teams can't even be categorized as cupcakes, you need milk to eat cupcakes or you might choke… more like bowls of Cool Whip)

Penn State's 2009 OOC schedule

...the bowls of Cool Whip you scheduled aren't in the same league as Big Ten teams. Good luck with that and have fun getting tossed around in the Big Ten. At least you'll have 4 wins for sure. I'm not even going over to tailgate at Eastern Illinois; it's not even worth the effort. You want to know how utterly pathetic this schedule is? The official site of Penn State athletics, those that can polish a turd to the highest sheen, don't even MENTION Eastern Illinois in their new release of the 2009 schedule, but they do mention this:

In 2010, old rival Alabama returns to Penn State's schedule. The traditional powers will meet Sept. 11, 2010 in Tuscaloosa and on Sept. 10, 2011 in Beaver Stadium. During the 2012-13 seasons, Virginia returns to the Nittany Lions' slate.

You KNOW your schedule is total suck-ass-crap when your administration's mentioning the 2010 schedule in a release about the 2009 schedule. Wretched, pitiful, despicable, shameful – you pick your favorite adjective, anyone will fit, they should be ashamed.

Thursday, January 08, 2009

JoePa loses his glasses… again

The bronzed statue of Joe Paterno has, yet again, been vandalized as some complete moron cut the coke-bottle thick glasses off the head of the statue.

Vandals apparently cut the glasses off just above the base of the ears of the 7-foot sculpture between 11 a.m. Friday and 11 a.m. Saturday, when a police officer noticed the damage.

The school plans to replace the glasses, though assistant athletic director Jeff Nelson said it is unclear how much that might cost.

Just stop. Stop it, it's not funny, it wasn't funny the first time, just stop being total fucking idiots. I pray you show those off to someone with a big mouth and this gets taken care of, not in the court of law, but buy angry Penn State fans. I'm not about lawless vigilantly justice but sometimes a vicious asskicking sends the right message, if you know what I mean.

Thursday, September 18, 2008


Charges have been filed against Nittany Lions Abe Koroma and Maurice Evans in connection with a Sept. 2 marijuana seizure at a Nittany Apartments residence, according to court documents filed today.

Koroma and Evans have been charged with possession of a small amount of marijuana, an ungraded misdemeanor, according to the criminal complaint.


Ok, so I'm a kick ass D end playing for a major university in a high profile conference and I'm on everybody's All-American list. I just completed a stellar sophomore year where I burst on the scene and every sportswriter knows my name when they talk about my team. If I have a year at least equal to last I'm a sure fire first round pick even if I go out early.

Hmmm I think I'll get high.

Moron! Fucking MORON!!

Is there not an ounce of God Damn common sense on this God forsaken team? I mean Jesus Christ, what is wrong with these kids!?!?

Ok, I'm calm now… serenity now, serenity now.

The eyes of a college football nation are now firmly fixated on one Joseph Vincent Paterno to see what happens next. Honestly I'd like to tell you what I'd do but I really don't know, this is such a unique situation and I have a hard time coming to grips with it. Suspend them for the year or a tangible amount and you look like the disciplinarian of old but you jeopardize what could be a superb farewell into retirement. Keep them out until Illinois rolls into town and you validate every negative thing written about the end of your career (including ESPN's driveby hit piece). I'll say this, if there ever was a time that I DON'T want to be Joe Paterno, it's now.

Stay tuned.

Tuesday, September 09, 2008

Ridin’ dirty with Willie Harriott

Ok technically he didn't get caught with something in his car so my title's not 100% accurate but he did get caught driving without a license.

Police cited Penn State cornerback Willie Harriott with driving with a suspended license the morning before the backup was kicked off the team.

A university police log lists the 21-year-old Harriott as having been pulled over early Thursday morning.

In November, Harriott was charged with driving under the influence and speeding.

So now we know what 'unspecified rule violation' Harriott broke.

Friday, September 05, 2008

Penn State announces new fight song

Yeah, I have no shame baby! I’ll take the easy way out every time.

I was gonna go to the game, but I got high…
I once had a lota fame, but I got high…
Now I’m lookin’ for someone to blame, and I know why…
Because I got high, because I got high, because I got hiiiiigh!

Thursday, July 31, 2008

Who let the dogs out: Chris Baker did

It appears that perhaps the timing in the Baker/Taylor dismissal may just be coincidence with the OTL interview. Baker is being cited for harboring a dangerous dog after his pit bull attacked two people on July 15th and according to District Attorney Michael Madeira, Taylor is under investigation in connection with a disturbance at a pool party the weekend of Arts Fest.

The pit bull attack is even more frightening because it involved a child.

Baker did…acknowledge an incident in which his pit bull may have injured a child. Baker said he didn't think the dog bit anyone, but said it may have "scratched a kid."

So draw your own conclusions, but it appears on the surface that Paterno gave these two all the chances he could allow and they never learned from their mistakes. I've said it before, I think Baker should have been off the team a long time ago.

<soapbox> Side Note: allow me to take this opportunity to once again pontificate on the precarious breed of dog known as pit bulls. I hate pit bulls and I'm a dog lover. If you're going to break out the "well Galen, pit bulls are great dogs if you raise them right and any breed will be mean if mistreated" don't waste your time. While it's true any breed can be mean there's no other breed that is as aggressive or can do the damage of a pit bull. A pit bull can easily kill a full grown adult and their jaw strength is unbelievable. Not to mention they have a skull thick enough that, while they are locked on to you like a vice, you could beat them with a baseball bat and not get them to let go. I hate pit bulls. </soapbox>

Friday, July 25, 2008

Bell saga comes to an end

Chris Bell pleaded guilty to charges of making terroristic threats and will most likely get two years probation. Prosecutors agreed to drop charges of assault for the lesser misdemeanor charge. Thus ends the chronicle of a highly touted recruit brimming with potential that never lived up to the hype. Bell admitted himself that he just didn't put the effort forth needed to succeed at a school like Penn State.

"I don't have anything bad to say about Penn State," Bell said. "Being at Penn State, you have to do a lot of things. I think I was only doing about 75 percent of it. I would go to class, do my work, but really, I wasn't interested. Because I wasn't interested, I wasn't motivated."

Bell had all the physical attributes to succeed at a major Div I school but he never got his head on straight. Now he's found himself near his home at Norfolk State where he'll finish out his career and it appears he's found a home.

"I just love Norfolk," he said. "Me being from here is a big plus, and my family's here. People call me a momma's boy, and being a wide receiver, I'm a bit of a prima donna, but I just love it here."

For his sake I hope he doesn't plan on playing knifey-spoony again.

Wednesday, July 23, 2008

Yes officer, I had one with dinner

R.I. State police say they arrested a man early Tuesday whose blood alcohol level was 0.491 percent — the highest ever recorded in Rhode Island for someone who wasn't dead.

.491 percent!! Now that's screaming drunk but even more perplexing is this:

Stanley Kobierowski was taken to a hospital, put in the detoxification unit and sedated, said Maj. Steven O'Donnell. He was arraigned Tuesday on charges of driving while intoxicated and resisting arrest, and he was released after promising to appear Friday at a court hearing.

First off, he was sedated?!?! Didn't the heroic amount of alcohol coursing through his veins sedate him enough? Geessssh, give the guy a slice of pizza and a comfy couch and he'd be out like a light at that level. Also, not only is Mr. Kobierowski a legend for being that drunk he also was capable of "resisting arrest!" That's an amazing feat, I tip my hat to you sir. Oh, and in case you are wondering:

A level of 0.30 is classified as stupor, 0.4 is comatose and 0.5 is considered fatal, according to the health department.

Perhaps we should reclassify that… just maybe.

Tuesday, July 01, 2008

Welcome to Central Pennsyltucky

The Centre Daily Times is running down its "7 wonders of Centre County" (stop laughing!) and of course Beaver Stadium is one. Oh, it's a rich tapestry of northern redneck fantasy and I'm saddened that this is what fellow denizens of my area consider wondrous but hey, I've come to expect it over the years. The most telling sign you're a Pennsylvania redneck? When you consider the Grange Fair "a blast."

"How many fairs do you see around where up to 1,000 families move into ugly green army tents for a week and have a blast?" wrote Jen Lee, of Pleasant Gap, among the many readers who nominated Grange Fair as one of the 7 Wonders of Centre County.

For those of you that have not had the thrill of attending the Grange Fair, I weep for you. I've been there once, a couple years ago, and I have yet to scrub the unmistakable stench of deep fried food off my skin. It's basically a collection of carny folk wanabies trying to con you into "winning" goldfish or fluffy stuffed animals in "games of skill."

But the Fair, as it's popularly called, isn't a private party. Tens of thousands of visitors arrive for the livestock shows, tractor pulls, concerts, exhibits and enough fried, grilled, baked and iced goodies to drain wallets and bust belts.

When the first two events of importance are "livestock shows" and "tractor pulls" you know you've hit redneck paradise. Oh and as for the concerts, yeah it's definitely not 50 cent.

Not an old pic it was taken last year – they just couldn't figure out how to get that new fangled digital camera off the B&W setting

Friday, June 06, 2008

Lesson learned?

Penn State football players attended the opening ceremonies of the Special Olympics in state college Thursday and for some they've hopefully turned over a new leaf.

"We all make mistakes here and there," said defensive tackle Chris Baker, who is serving two years of probation after pleading guilty last month to three misdemeanor charges in connection with the two fights. "The important thing is to give back to the community and let people know that we're not bad like they think we are."

While it's a second chance for players like Baker, Navorro Bowman and Phil Taylor it appears that it's already a lesson learned by others.

"I feel like it comes with the territory," said quarterback Daryll Clark. "You're not just playing football; you're representing this team, you're representing this campus, you're representing your family, your friends."
"I think it's more of a responsibility of ours because of all the fans we have," Lee said. "If we want to play in front of all these fans, you're gonna have to be a great role model for kids, because they all look up to us. A lot of younger kids have a dream to play for Penn State. I don't think it's an option; I think it's a must."

It's sad that in a team of nearly a 100 guys a few have to tarnish the good name that has been built up over the years. But with any downfall there's always room for redemption and this is a great opportunity for those charged and any other players that may come close to running afoul of the law to redeem themselves. There's still two months until summer practice starts and there's plenty of time for more trouble, let's hope this team has learned from the mistakes of a few. If not Chris Baker has some words of experience for them.

"I would tell them to make wise decisions," Baker said. "If you see things going wrong, get away from it, don't stand around and watch it, because you never know who's watching you."

Wednesday, May 21, 2008

Down with redshirts!

Big 12 commissioner Dan Beebe is proposing a plan that would eliminate redshirts and extend a college football player's eligibility by one year. While not a new idea, in the new age of college football where teams are held accountable for graduation rates this plan is starting to gain momentum.

"This idea makes so much sense," Texas Tech coach Mike Leach said. "It would eliminate all kinds of appeals and legislation about injuries. And it typically takes most people five years to graduate, and I think this would help the graduation rates."

The arguments for:

-Players currently have four seasons of eligibility during a five-year window anyway why not just let them play those five years

-do away with "redshirt blues" or the melancholy many young players feel during their redshirt freshman season while practicing and working out just like all the other players but not having the reward of getting playing time in games.

-coaches would have the full complement of their roster to use on game day which would alleviate some of the pain of the 85 scholarship limit.

The arguments against:

-"The argument against it is you do it for football you have to do it for every other sport."

-"The biggest obstacle has been opposition from faculty representatives for sanctioning an extra season of eligibility when many of their classmates finish much sooner."

I'm in total agreement with this idea; it does make a lot of sense. It's funny, just yesterday I was having a discussion with a recent graduate of Penn State and several parents of PSU alum and we were all in agreement that it's nearly impossible to graduate from college (especially Penn State) in four years with the course load expected in most majors. So to say that football players' classmates are graduating much sooner is a bit of a stretch in my mind, sure it can be done but it's not the norm. Also, the extra year would allow players who fall behind academically to catch up without overloading them. On the negative side, I believe you would see a lot less players graduate who leave early for the NFL simply because they would still have another year or two of course work left.

In other sports the same idea might not apply but football is unique. If you recruit a star cornerback in the same year that you have two senior starters in that position you could find another position for him to play, like wide receiver or special teams. In a sport like wrestling if you recruit a star heavyweight but you have a senior starter at that weight class that recruit is screwed, he can't move to a different weight class so his year would be wasted. I'm sure Joe Paterno would disagree with me because freshmen should never be allowed on the field in his mind, but I love the idea. Hopefully it gets some serious consideration.

Tuesday, April 22, 2008

For Once Your Primary Vote Matters... Unless You’re Republican

This is a public service announcement for those in Pennsylvania to get out and vote. Shine on you crazy diamond, Ron Paul (on a "cross of gold" of course).

Yay, democracy in action! (care of The Onion)

Wednesday, April 09, 2008

It would have been funny had it been from the Martha Stewart collection

RUTS has portions of the police report regarding the "facts" of the Chris Bell attack. The affidavit can be found here but these little tidbits are the most important.

"Still reported he had an earlier conversation with Bell regarding stolen property. Still stated he suspected Bell had taken his cell phone case from the locker room earlier in the day, and also believed Bell had stolen some other property from him in the past. Bell denied the accusations to Still, and remarked he was going to purchase a new cell phone case, bring it to Still and see if Still would try to take it from him."

"Still advised later that evening, Bell entered the dining hall, approached him, and pulled a long fixed-blade knife from his shirt sleeve. Still stated Bell challenged him to take the cell phone case from him and stated, 'Come get the case and I'm going to stab you!' Penn State Football Offensive Graduate Assistant Samuel Perryman escorted Still away from the confrontation, and McQueary, Anderson, and Buggs disarmed Bell. Still advised as Perryman was leading him away from the area, Bell shouted to him, 'I have more knives and a gun up here!"

"The knife, which was recovered from Anderson, was a Good Cook straight blade cooking knife with a black handle. The blade measured approximately eight (8) inches, and the overall length of the knife was approximately twelve (12) inches. Perryman witnessed Bell standing before Still, holding the knife in his hand."

So there you have it, Still accuses Bell of stealing some stuff and Bell feels the need to go all Emeril Lagasse on his ass with a Good Cook knife.


Tuesday, April 08, 2008

<Insert State Penn Joke here>

ESPN jumps on the Chris Bell pile and there's actually some good news from the whole ordeal.

"Chris Bell, who had been previously suspended from the team, is permanently reoved from the team and will not be considered to be part of the team in the future," a Penn State spokesman said.

In other words you're gone for good buddy, thanks for being the 5 star dipshit you've been during your illustrious career at Penn State. I'd also like to take this time to thank all the rest of this wonderfully behaved team; because of you we have links on to 6 different off the field incidents.


Chris Bell, Master Gamesman

No one beats him at "knifey-spooney" (h/t: Run)

What are we left with (remaining WR on the roster):
Tyler Ahrenhold (6-0/169/Fr)
Jesse Alfreno (5-11/193/So)
Brett Brackett (6-6/235/So)
Deon Butler (5-10/168/Sr)
Kevin Cousins (6-3/205/Jr)
Ryan Gmerek (5-8/183/So)
Patrick Mauti (5-10/190/Jr)
James McDonald (6-2/198/Jr)
Derek Moye (6-5/196/Fr)
Jordan Norwood (5-11/171/Sr)
Derrick Williams (6-0/194/Sr)
Graham Zug (6-2/176/So)

Yeah it's thin, but still has some intriguing guys. Expect them all to get plenty of looks before the season starts.

Monday, April 07, 2008

Oh but I’d never treat you that way.

So Dick Rod claims the $4 million buyout clause in his West Virginia contract was fraudulent... could someone tell me why that is different than the $4 million buyout clause in his Michigan contract?

Rich Rodriguez may present evidence to try to prove his claim he was fraudulently induced to sign a coaching contract with West Virginia that included a $4 million buyout clause he now refuses to pay.
Rodriguez resigned in December after seven seasons with the Mountaineers to take the coaching job at Michigan, where he's also agreed to a $4 million buyout, and took some of his coaches and recruits with him.

Do you think Michigan administrators are sleeping good at night these days?